Chances are if you are old enough to remember when Land Of The Lost originally aired on Saturday mornings, or M*A*S*H was prime time viewing, you are old enough to remember when people were actually courteous to one another. You have probably also noticed that there is an increasing lack of courtesy in the world today. It's almost as if rudeness and selfishness are considered to be the admirable qualities instead politeness and generosity.
Something else has fallen by the wayside in these modern times as well. Gratitude. Our expression of gratitude has been reduced to giving lip service to sweeping generalizations about health, wealth, and freedom one day out of the year. But for the day to day things--the little things someone may do for us--no one seems grateful any more. Thank you is a phrase that is seldom said, and even less often said with sincerity.
Three stories:
James asked me to buy him a bag of chips. Remembering that he had on previous occasions bought me ice cream, I did. As soon as the cashier had scanned them, he snatched them out of the bag, and without a word walked away, stuffing the chips into his mouth as he went.
Debra was trying to buy herself a snack, but the vending machine wouldn't take her crumpled up dollar. Though she didn't ask, I dug through my pockets and came up with a dollar's worth of change. When I offered her the change, she took it, but didn't offer any expression of gratitude. "About #$@& time!" she yelled instead. "You waited all this time, watching me struggle with my dollar, when you could have given me change right off!" It was all I could do not to take my change back, but I was determined to be better than that.
Sue was complaining about all the dust blowing out of one of the ceiling fans. Of my own volition, I went back to maintenance and asked one of my buddies there if he would clean the fan out when he got a chance. I went back out to the shop floor and told Sue that he'd said he would clean it. No thanks did I receive. Instead she rounded on me. "Yeah RIGHT!" she screamed. "When is he going to do it? NEXT WEEK???"
"I did you a favor," I calmly responded. "I didn't expect attitude for it."
Attitude instead of gratitude.
Almost makes you not want to help anyone out.
.
9 comments:
I tend not to be too offended by failure to say thank you - largely because I can think of a few times where I only realized that I should have thanked someone some unforgivably long time afterwards.
That said - I just don't get being actively rude or hostile to someone who's helping you. Don't these people realize they're just insuring that the next time they need help the people who know them will stay far, far away?
Wow, and here I was feeling bad recently that I had settled on thanking someone only in person and not sending a thank you note for inviting me to a play (and giving me an extra ticket so I got to go for free). I'm really sorry you've had to deal with so much ingratitude lately. Makes you kinda want to have a conference with their mothers, doesn't it?
" Makes you kinda want to have a conference with their mothers, doesn't it?"
That was often my thought as a public school teacher. I often wondered if mother's knew how their children behaved out of their presence. Sometimes, the apple does not fall far from the tree. My perception of a student directly affected how I thought of the parents. Generations spiraling down.
An interesting and all-too-common observation, Becky. FWIW, I vividly remember my parents, particularly my father, raving about my generation and its absolute lack of manners and respect... respect for authority, mostly, but respect for anything/everything was his common theme.
We've been going to Hell in a hand basket for quite some time...we just never seem to get there. I'm of the opinion that stupid, thoughtless people are always going to be with us. But you're right: It IS bad out there.
I totally agree with y'all that this is a big problem universally. I even live in a town where the majority of the population is composed of Asian immigrants (mostly Indian and Chinese), and you would think that from those cultures, good manners would be crucial. If anything, it's the opposite. Well, not always, but often. And I agree with the comment that in almost all cases, it's a matter of the apple not falling far from the tree. However, there are some exceptions. I know that my son is constantly being gotten after, especially by his father and I, with his manners. He's selective when he uses them, and he gives more attitude than gratitude as well, but we get after him if we see what's going on. However, I know it's not 100% "our fault"-- he does have some learning disabilities which include difficulties with social skills due to those learning disabilities, so you can't always blame the mom or the parents. I KNOW I've put my kid around people that expect the respect and good manners (like at TKD and such, and soon with boy scouts), and for him, it doesn't click entirely. So, I think the people you encountered were probably just being jerks and spoiled brats.
Cindy, you are right. They are shooting themselves in the foot.
Sus, if I felt bad every time I didn't send a thank you note...That is something I am really terrible at. As for a conference with their parents, two of the three above are my age--in their 40s.
Lou, you are right. Manners must be taught. Still, manners were not emphasized in my home, either. That is something I took upon myself after I was grown. So even if the parents didn't teach them, kids can decide if they are going to be polite or not.
Buck, you are so right! My friend and I were haveing that exact conversation at work Thursday. She was telling me how she had to block some of the channels on her TV because there were things on there that she didn't want her daughter to see. "She knows a lot more than I did at that age," my friend said. "Yes," I agreed, "but our parents said that about us, and their parents said that about them, and so on."
Dani, don't get discouraged. Keep gently emphasizing manners with your son, and eventually he will absorb them. He is still pretty young, and forgetting things like that is pretty normal at his age. Now, if he gets to be 40 and is still rude, that's something else. Even then, it's won't be your fault. Like I said above, I chose to be polite even though it was not emphasized. The opposite can hold true for other adults.
This is a subject near and dear to my heart, and you made some great points! Shame that your helpfulness was met with that awful response! *sigh* We can't let it change who we are though right?
Thanks for coming over to my blog.
Here's the link for the Tinker Toy Swift
http://www.folkcatart.com/blogs/jen/?p=742
Thank you for the link, Brown Berry! Now maybe I can finally have myself a yarn swift! The next challenge, finding real Tinker Toys.
Gratitude comes from a humble heart, Pride brings forth attitude.
I always feel for those people who have not cultivated a spirit of gratitude because they are missing out on SO much of their lives without even knowing it.
Keep helping people out, Becky, just because others chose to be negative does not mean that you need to make the same choice.
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