Heroes

or What I Find Attractive In A Man, Part 2

Ever since Cody was 3 years old and drew web all over himself and declared himself to be Spiderman, we have been fans. Ok, I am more of a fan by association, but Cody is a big time fan. I was really surprised that I liked the Spiderman movies. They were really good. In the first movie, Uncle Ben tells Peter "With great power comes great responsibility." Words of wisdom I wish our government leaders heeded more.

In the second Spiderman movie, Aunt May tells Peter,

"I believe there's a hero in all of us."

The Riverside housing addition was built down by the old Navy base back at the beginning of World War II to house the families of those stationed there. It was never meant to be more than a temporary housing situation. Once the war was over, it was supposed to have been torn down, but it wasn't. Some 40 years later, the houses were still there, and still occupied. That was where the poor folks lived. The really poor folks. It was also where the problems that always seem to follow poverty ran rampant--alcoholism, drug use, broken homes, prostitution, crime. We called those who lived in Riverside river rats.

Mike was a river rat. He was poor. He didn't have many opportunities to advance himself. He wasn't very intelligent. When class rankings came out, he ranked 274th out of 365 students. While he was not bad looking, he didn't exactly turn heads as he walked down the hall, either. He wasn't athletic. He was tall, but he was a bit on the chubby side. He wasn't academically inclined either. He was just in school to graduate then survive the best he could. He drank and used drugs. He wasn't exactly anyone's idea of a hero.

We were friends for a while. We didn't date or anything like that, just talked between classes. We eventually drifted apart. We had nothing in common. We couldn't even find enough in common to carry on a decent conversation.

One day, just as school let out, I was walking toward the exit where my mother usually waited to pick me up. Nicholas Demary grabbed my arm and pulled me into the cafeteria. He wanted to get his books, he said. Once there, he said he wouldn't let me go until I kissed him. For some 20-30 minutes, he kept me there because I refused to kiss him. Finally, some teachers walked by in the hall outside, and I was able to get away. My mother had already left by that time, so I had to walk home. I spent the whole time looking over my shoulder, afraid that Nick might follow me, but he didn't. When I got home, my mother asked me where I had been. I lied and told her I'd stayed behind to help a teacher.

Now, if I were picking up my child in a place where I knew he was supposed to be, and he didn't come out the door, I wouldn't just go back home. I'd go find him. But maybe that's just me.

After that day, Nick made my life at school a living nightmare. He was always threatening me, saying he was going to take me out behind the field house and teach me a thing or two. Or he'd get me behind the band hall and show me what's what. I dreaded going to school, but I was afraid to tell anyone. I was afraid it would get back to my mother, and of course, she would blame me. She'd say that I must have done something to give him ideas.

Mike's last class of the day was right next door to mine. We would sometimes stand in the hall talking until the bell rang. Since we had so little in common, we never really had much to talk about. "Look, there's my buddy Nick", he said to me that day. Mike turned around just in time to see the look of disgust on my face. "What?" he asked. "Has he been giving you a hard time?" I simply nodded.

The last thing I saw as I turned to go into my class was Mike charging across the hall and slamming Nick against the wall. I don't know what Mike said to him, but Nick never bothered me again after that.

Mike and I lost touch after graduation. I don't know what became of him, or what he made of his life. He may not have changed the world, but I'll never forget him for what he did for me that day.

The day he was my hero.

That's what I find attractive in a man.

Charlie Waters

Or What I Find Attractive in A Man, Part 1

I've never really understood why people get so spastic over celebrities. It just isn't my thing. On the way home from Wisconsin with the church youth group, somewhere in Missouri, the church van was filled with teenage girls. Suddenly, the girls all started screaming and jumping up and down--as much as one can jump in a van. They were all looking out the window, waving and taking pictures. And screaming. Being the clueless one of the bunch, I asked what was going on. One of the girls turned to me and said,

"It's Richard Gere!"

I didn't even know who Richard Gere was at the time, but these girls had spotted a man in a car and they were sure it was him. After we'd passed the car, the girls were all discussing whether it really was Richard Gere or not. Some of them insisted that it had to be because it looked just like him. Ever the practical one, I burst all their bubbles when I posed the question,

"Come on, what would Richard Gere be doing driving through Missouri?" and although I didn't say it, I could have added, "and being passed by a church van?"

That kind of carrying on has never been my style.

Backtrack a few years--to 7th grade. The girls in my school were all agog over Charlie Waters. I was all agog over him, too, but what I couldn't understand was why they weren't just as agog over Cliff Harris. After all, he was just as good a ball player as Charlie Waters. Why didn't they go goo-goo over him?

"You've got to be kidding! That old bald headed guy?"

I didn't understand how being bald affected his ability to play football. What did it matter anyway? Once he had his helmet on, you couldn't tell he was bald.

"Oh, Becky, you just don't get it."

I'll admit, I was a bit of a late bloomer when it came to noticing boys as boys. It was late the next year before I really began to notice boys. Up until then, Charlie Waters was just the best strong safety to ever set foot on a ball field.

Now, let me set the record straight. Just because I was a late bloomer, doesn't mean I was blind.

Yeah, I thought he was cute. It just wasn't as important to me as the way he played football.


Charlie Waters played football with a passion and intensity that was rare, even in those days, and is almost never found among today's pampered pansy players--at all levels of the game. He gave of himself 100% in every game. There was no holding back. And he never quit until the game was done.

Charlie Waters broke his arm. Now, for most players, that would be a season ending injury. Even if it weren't, it would mean a big chunk of the season sitting on the sidelines for them.

Not Charlie Waters. He continued to play, even with his arm in a cast. Not only did he continue to play, he played with such passion and intensity that he broke his arm in two more places inside the cast. Now for most players, that would be a season ending injury. Even if it weren't, it would mean a big chunk of the season sitting on the sidelines for them.

Not Charlie Waters. Doctors inserted a steel rod in his bone, and he continued to play. Not only did he continue to play, he played with such passion and intensity that at times the end of the rod would pop out through the top of his shoulder.

Some people would say that is just foolishness. I don't think so. I think just showed how much he loved the game. It showed the passion he had for what he loved. It showed how much of himself he was willing to give for what he loved.

He carried that passion with him off the field as well, and kept it even after he retired from football. And he still gives of himself 100% in everything he does.

He was, and still is, involved in many charities and community events, including Fellowship of Christian Athletes, the I’m Third Foundation of Kanakuk Kamps, the Boles Home for Children, The American Diabetes Association and the Cody Waters Memorial Fund. In interviews, you can still see the passion, the intensity, and ..and..and a joy shining through his life. It shows in his eyes. It sounds in his voice. It works in his actions. It sings through his entire being.

As for his physical appearance...

Well, he can still make guys like

and
hang their heads in shame.

Even at 58 years of age.
That's what I find attractive in a man.