What Makes A Bad Kisser?
The number one answer was: Failure to control saliva (I am so glad I'm not alone on this one!). Coming in second was: too much tongue. The other answers, in no particular order, were: teeth in the way, biting, not enough tongue, and other. The guy on the radio said he didn't want to think about what that other category entailed, but I have a few of my own. Tight or tense lips make a bad kisser. It's like kissing a corpse. Kissing with too much pressure makes a bad kisser. Seriously, if I want swollen and bruised lips, I'll get into the sparring ring. Kind of going along with that is kissing so hard that the kissee feels you are going to break her neck. This is uncomfortable and does not inspire romantic feelings. It's just bad kissing. Creating a suction in the kissee's mouth makes a bad kisser.
Now for my personal favorite, or should I say, my ex's personal favorite. If you want to be a really bad kisser, try this. Wait until you are in the middle of a passionate, deep kiss, then take a deep breath--through your nose, of course--and blow as hard as you can into the kissee's mouth causing her discomfort and possibly damaging her lungs. Do that, more than once, and you will have earned yourself the title of Really Bad Kisser.
Still on the topic of Valentine's Day, I read an article online about the ten worst V Day gifts. The entire article is here, but I've summarized the list below, and the explanations the article gave as to why these may be bad choices:
1. Red Roses--because they are such a cliche'
2. Candy--because there will always be an icky one in the assortment
3. Any jewelry in a ring sized box, other than the ring--can we say awkward moment?
4. Cutsie girly stuff like sachets or wishing stones--dust collectors with no useful purpose
5. Stuffed Animals--what are grown folks going to do with a bunch of stuffed animals anyway?
6. Lingerie--face it, dude, you buy the lingerie for you, not her7. Small Appliances--If she needed it, she would have it already
8. Perfume--because you might pick a fragrance she hates
9. Tie--he's got plenty of ties already.
10. A Gift Certificate--what can be less romantic than handing someone a price tag?
The article made some good points, and some points I didn't agree with. For example, the candy one. Sure there will be some candy that is less liked than others, but that is part of the fun of assorted chocolates. It's in the surprise. But the article also offers practical solutions.
Me? I'll be spending my Valentine's Day with the allergist. Fun fun. But the kids are out of school, so I'm making Cody go with me. After I get through with my appointment, we are going to go to the Mississippi Museum of Natural Science. Now, that really does sound like fun!
Looking for Love: Almost three year old male corn snake looking for a sexy babe. Forty-four inches long, a bit chubby, but still sleek enough for a hot chick. Come home with me baby, and we'll watch the Sunset together. Call 1-800-Luv-Corn. (Not a real phone number. Don't try to call.)
2 comments:
Before my son got married, I talked to him about kissing (he and Sara had not kissed before they married). I told him that kissing was like feeling with your fingers, but you get to do it with your lips. He had a big ol' grin on his face.
Good advice. I think it's great that they waited until they were married until they even kissed. Most men aren't willing to wait even for sex, much less kissing--even those claiming to be Christians.
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