Sunday, September 03, 2006

For Lizzie

Lizzie, it seems I cannot post comments on your blog anymore until you switch to Beta, or change your settings to allow non-bloggers to post. I tried to post this comment twice and was unsuccessful, so I'm posting it here hoping you will wander over here and see it. What I posted was:

Becky, will I still enjoy and love the MA if I go to another dojo?

To me, that's like asking if you will still be able to love a man if you leave an abusive husband and remarry. The answer is, "of course you will."

True, no dojo is perfect, and there will always be those who will disrespect you, but you shouldn't have to put up with the way you are treated in your dojo. What I see happening is out and out abuse.

In keeping with the marriage analogy, no marriage is perfect either. Couples have their problems. They disagree, they argue, they get angry with each other. But that doesn't mean they abuse each other. Yes, I know abusive marriages do exist, but they are not the norm.

My best advice to you is to visit other dojos--several of them if you can--and see what goes on in them. See how the students are treated, and how the classes are conducted. See what level of respect is given to the students regardless of rank. Compare them to your own dojo, and see the differences and similarities.

Remember, just visiting a dojo doesn't mean you are committing to anything. You are just visiting. Also, don't stick with your current dojo out of a sense of loyalty. Your first loyalty is to yourself, not the dojo. After you have visited several dojos several times, you will be able to make a decision with a broader perspective.

Just out of curiosity, how did you come to choose your current dojo anyway? Also, you keep saying that you wouldn't be able to find a sensei as experienced as your current one. First off, how do you know that if you don't look for one? How long has your sensei been training, then? How long has he been teaching? The reason I ask is because most senseis are those who started training as a child, and have many years of experience. My own sensei has 35 years of experience, and I know others who have much more.

4 comments:

Lizzie Woolley said...

I tried to comment on your blog too, but it wouldn't let me. Thanks Becky.

My has been training since he was a child and he's 65 years old. He's been training for 57 years and teaching for 37 years.

My sister thinks that I should find another dojo too.

Becky G said...

I agree with your sister.

I know a man who has been training in the martial arts for 50-someodd years, and has been teaching since sometime in the 1960s. He would never treat anyone the way you've been treated, and would never allow such behavior in his dojo.

Lizzie Woolley said...

Well, I'm going to write a letter to one of my Sempai to see if I can set things right. I want to see where this takes me before I decide to quit this dojo.

Becky G said...

I wish you luck then. Keep us updated whatever you do.