The Vortex

Every knitter knows about it. Most knitters have had experience with it. All knitters dread it. What is it? It is the phenomenon of setting a needle down and having it vanish before your very eyes. It is the parallel universe which calls to our needle friends. It is the paradoxical existence/non-existence of knitting needles. It is that anomaly which consumes all needles in its path. It is The Vortex Of Nothingness. * I had a close encounter with The Vortex this morning.

Perhaps I'd better start at the beginning.

It all started when I took this picture to show you my new knitting needles. Well...let me back up a bit. I was entering my needles into my Ravelry notebook a couple of days ago when I realized that I didn't have a set of needles in size 13. So today when I was in Wal-mart, I happened to spot these 10" long size 13s.


These are just right for knitting my charity scarves. They are plenty long enough for the scarf, but their shorter length makes them less awkward and more portable. So I snapped them up. Naturally, I wanted to show them off, so I took a picture. Upon looking at said picture, I realized I'd probably explain why my computer desk is so clean. Relatively speaking, of course. Pay no attention to the dust behind the monitor.


Do you see the pile of stuff on top of the printer? Normally, the whole desk looks like that, but here it is, amazingly clean. Which brings us to where the story actually takes place. This morning between 5:30 and 6:00 AM--not a good time to do anything that requires thought or sight.

While Cody was in the shower, I sat down at the computer to read e-mail and knit a couple of rows on Monkey sock #2. Sunset's tank is right next to the computer desk,

so naturally it becomes a handy place to set things. Here is evidence of said setting:


When I got up to fix Cody's breakfast, I set the Monkey sock, with it's accompanying pattern and necessary needles on top of Sunny's tank. Later, I picked the sock back up to continue knitting, and lo and behold one of the needles was missing.

"No big deal," I thought. "It is probably still on the computer desk."

I began shuffling things around. No needle.

"It must have rolled off onto the top of Sunny's tank," I thought. I checked the tank top. No needle. I went back to the desk and shuffled things around a bit more. No needle, but I did find the house note.

"I'd better pay that," I said to myself. I paid the house note, but still no needle. I checked the top of the snake tank again. Still no needle. I went back to searching the desk. I found last month's bank statement, reconciled my account, and filed the statement, but still no needle.

I then checked inside the snake tank, thinking that though improbable, it was possible that it had slipped through the screen and into the tank. No needle. I went back to the desk. I found a two year old Wal-mart receipt.

"I don't need that any more," I said, and shredded the receipt. Still no needle. I found last month's gas bill. I'd already paid it, so I filed the stub. While I was doing that, I checked the filing cabinet for the needle. It wasn't there. I checked the snake tank again. I checked the floor under the tank. I checked the tangle of wires behind the tank. No needle. I checked the chair in the living room where I had been knitting last night. I checked the floor under the chair and behind the end table. Still no needle.

I checked the snake tank again. I checked the desk again. I checked under the printer. I checked under the desk. By this time I was beginning to think that needles really did vanish into thin air. But the desk was clean.

Finally, after about an hour of diligent searching, the missing needle was discovered trying to escape the lure of The Vortex. Sunny's tank is the top right tank. That is where I'd left the needle. It had jumped off the tank and had crawled over and was hiding behind Snow's tank--pictured at bottom left.


The needle was successfully rescued and is now back happily knitting the second Monkey sock, which is past the gusset decreases.

Despite what this quiz shows, this whole incident made me feel rather not smart. And it has given me a whole new respect for The Vortex of Nothingness.

Am-I-Dumb.com - Are you dumb?



*Note: This is not to be confused with the Black Hole of knitting to which knitted stitches are irrevocably drawn. For a more complete explanation of the Black Hole, click here.