Thursday, June 04, 2009

Here's The Scoop

Cody'd known about the band trip to Disneyworld for the entire school year. I'd told him to be saving his allowance. I'd remind him regularly how expensive things were at Disneyworld. I also planned on giving him a little more money besides what he'd saved, and he has a credit card in his name--for emergencies only. The night before he left, I was giving him some advice..."Use your cash for meals and such, and only use the credit card for souviners."

"I have no cash," was Cody's response. It was then that I discovered he only had about $5 in change to take with him. After behaving in a way I ought to be ashamed of, I made him withdraw some money from his savings account. Money he thought he was saving for a car. It will be his responsibility to replace it. Friday came, and I got him off on the trip with no further hitches.

That evening I decided I was going to clean his room. Now, his room was an ungodly mess, and I knew it would take several days to finish. The next day, Saturday, I bent over to pick something up from the floor and slipped a disc. But y'all know about that.

Sunday evening, I was piddling around on the computer when my phone rang. It was one of Cody's band directors on the other end. After introducing himself to me, he said, "We have a situation here with Cody, that we need your help with" and my first thought was, 'Oh no, he got stung [by a bee--to which he is deathly allergic] and he doesn't have his Epi-pen with him'. Then Mr. P said, "Well, another girl in the band came up to me and told me" and I thought 'Oh no, he's behaved inappropriately with a little girl'. Mr. P continued "that a man came up to her and asked if she was from Grenada. She'd had her school ID on her and he'd seen it. He asked her if she knew Cody Anglea, and she said she did. He said, 'I'm his real dad and I'm supposed to be meeting him here.'" The girl --bless her--immediately went and found Mr. P and told him about it. Then he called me and told me about it. He begged me to tell him that I knew about it and had just forgotten to tell them, and that it was ok, but I had no idea. He tried to describe the man to me, but I had to tell him, "I haven't seen that man in 15 years. I probably wouldn't know him if he walked right up to me." The conversation went on from there, but really, I was freaking so much I don't remember all that was said. I do remember telling Mr. P that Cody's father did live in that area, and that I didn't have a problem with Cody meeting his father, but my fear was that the father might try to take him. Mr. P said, "That's what I needed to know." He also said that if Cody wanted to meet his dad, then they would arrange a supervised visit, with a couple of the band directors there.

After taking a few minutes to calm myself--ok a lot of minutes--I called Cody and asked him what was going on. He told me that he wanted to meet his dad, but hadn't wanted to tell me, because he was afraid I'd be mad. I emphasized that he wasn't in trouble for wanting to meet his dad, but for the position he'd put his band directors. We talked some more, then after all the band got back to the hotel, Mr. P and the head band director Mr R. called on the speaker phone, and we all talked about it. I emphasized to Cody again that he wasn't in trouble for wanting to meet his dad, but for the position he had put his band directors in. I told him that if he wanted to meet the ex, to call him and arrange a time and a place to meet, then let his band directors know so they could be there with him. He agreed to that, but as it turns out, he never did get to meet him. After he got home, I asked him why, and he said he didn't have the ex's phone number. I couldn't resist a little poke, and said "See, if you'd talked to me about it, I could have made sure you had his number, and had arranged a time and a place to meet."

I also explained to him that the reason he was wrong to do what he did was that when someone wants to abduct a child, one of his favorite tricks is to pick the child up from school or a school function. He said that was pretty much what his band directors had told him, too. I wanted to make sure he understood that he wasn't wrong for wanting to meet his dad, but for not telling anyone about it. I beat that dead horse enough that I hope he got the message.

And that's what happened at Disneyworld.

8 comments:

Steve said...

Wow, you never really found out if it was his Dad or not?

Bag Blog said...

I say "wow" too. I have lots of thoughts rumbling around, but as you said, no use beating a dead horse.

Becky G said...

Steve, no, I don't know for sure that it was Cody's dad, but there is a good probability that it was. He does live in that area, and Cody had contacted him and told him he would be there and wanted to meet him.

Lou, I have lots of thoughts, too that I will not share with Cody. Such as, this man hasn't wanted anything to do with his son, and now that he's nearly grown, he suddenly shows up wanting to be a dad. No, I don't think so. Or how about, he walked out on me while I was in labor, even after I begged him to stay one more day, so I wouldn't have to go through it alone. He left anyway. Or how about when he came to me and said he didn't think he could support us so he was leaving us to fend for ourselves. Yeah, lots of thoughts...

SJ said...

Oh my goodness, Becky. What a time you've had! You must be relieved to have Cody back home now and to be able to just talk about it all. I hope your back feels better soon too!

Becky G said...

SJ, definitely! The back is feeling much better now. I've been doing some exercises to keep my spine aligned and they really seem to be helping--except when I get lazy and don't do them.

Tammy said...

Oh man! What an unnerving situation. I'm glad it worked out okay.

Becky G said...

Tammy, it definitely added a few more gray hairs to my head!

Patch said...

What a scary time for you; thank God for happy endings! And yeah, hopefully Cody has gotten the message now.

I wonder why he wants to meet his dad, who on purpose has had no part of his life? Maybe just curiosity? Or to ask why he left? Surely the boy knows which parent has been there for him all this time....