Fernando

A couple of days ago, one of the Chats questions was "What is your favorite kind of nut?"  My answer was Group Leader Fernando.

We have a relationship that can best be described as...well...let's just say stormy. 

We fight a lot.  We always have.  Sixteen years ago when I was his inspector, we fought so much people started asking us if we were married.  Someone told me that again today.  "You two act just like an old married couple.  You really do."

I wouldn't know, not having ever been a part of an old married couple. 

Today had been a very rough day at work, and we were both tired, irritable, and frustrated.  Naturally, we took it out on each other.  Kind of like an old married couple.

Or, so I've heard...

Right in the middle of our fussing, I walked around behind him, and I picked his pocket.  No, I didn't take his wallet, though I probably could have.  I took his cigarettes.  He should really quit smoking anyway.  I took his cigarettes, and the little blue box he keeps them in.  I stuck my hand down into his pocket and took his cigarettes.  And the little blue box he keeps them in. 

He didn't even notice.

A couple of hours later, he was looking for them.  He asked me if I'd seen them.  I tried to play innocent, but he must have seen it in my face.

"You know something," he said.  "What did you do?"

"Me?" I asked innocently.  "Would I do something?"

Then I took his cigarettes and the little blue box he keeps them in out of my pocket and showed him.

"Where did you find them?" he asked.

"I took them out of your pocket," I said.

He couldn't believe that.

"You did not!"

"I did, too."

"How?"

"I reached my hand into your pocket and took them."

"You put your hand into my pocket?"

"Yes," I said.  "I pulled your pocket open, put my hand inside, and got your cigarettes.  I even caressed your behind while I was in there."

I didn't really.  I just told him that.

"Where was I?", he asked.  "What was I doing?  How did I not notice???"

He's such an easy mark.

I suppose if I ever quit my job, I can take up a life of petty crime. 

Apparently, I'm a pretty good pickpocket.

Yeah...