Interesting thing about respect. If the higher ranks don't show respect to the middle ranks, then the lower ranks will take their cue from the higher ranks and will fail to show respect to them as well. It'll make sense in a minute...
Sensei has always taught us that when a black belt enters the dojo for the first time, everyone is to stop and bow to him. He has faithfully stopped whatever class he was in and had everyone bow to Mr. Tedder, on the rare occasions he shows up to class. He has never shown James and me this respect.
Tuesday night Mr. Tedder came to class for the first time since James and I made black belt. We were already in the dojo. Dead silence from sensei when we entered. Yet when Mr. Tedder entered, sensei was quick to call everyone to a halt and bow to him.
So I asked him how come he never had the class bow to us. He sputtered some about us coming in during the kids classes and how hard it was to get them back on track once they get distracted...blah, blah, blah...
(For the record, I disagree. Children need to learn proper courtesy as well.)
Tonight when we walked in to the class...guess what....
"Yamay! Everybody face the black belt. Rei!"*
During the class, there was a very subtle but very present shift in attitude toward us. A hint of respect that wasn't there before.
Leading by example.
*Yamay means come to attention, and rei means bow.
5 comments:
"Children need to learn proper courtesy as well." Very wise! By the way, you mentioned your son's test scores on a previous post. As an ex-teacher of jr. and sr. high students, I would say that yes, he should be making more than B's and C's. Jr. high is a tuff age - lots of peer pressure to not do well academically. If everyone is mediocre, then no one has to work very hard. Kids and teachers learn this pretty early on. Achievement tests give you a different picture of what is actually going on in the classroom. This is definitely something to look into with your son. I would bet he is a pretty shart guy.
I meant "sharp" guy. You should have seen my test scores in spelling.
prabbler had it exactly right when s/he said: Good for you for speaking up and calling him out on this one. That's leadership; doing the right thing and teaching junior ranks to do likewise.
I'll add my "me, too." Respect is the underpinning of ALL our relationships, no matter how trivial or profound they may be.
Thanks Lou. Cody has never been one to yield to peer pressure, though. He just doesn't do his school work, so he gets low grades. Plus he has the attitude to go with it. He is smart and he knows it. His attitude is "I already know this stuff, so why do I have to do this work?" His teachers can't seem to figure out how to make him do the work, and I can't come to school and stand over him all day. And he knows I can't make him behave long distance.
Thanks Patch, but he didn't bow us in during the kid's class. It was during the break between the kids and adult class, and I wonder if Mr Tedder hadn't walked in right before we did, would he have bowed us in. We shall see...
Buck, thanks to you too. And Prabbler1 is a she, and one of my oldest friends--not in age, but in the longevity of our relationship. We've been friends for more than half our lives.
Gee Patch, doesn't that make us feel OLD??? Don't worry about it, Buck has CHILDREN our age. *snicker*
P.S. Do you remember Joshua and Jason? I still have them on my dresser, in their little matching outfits! Remember how you babysat them when I went into basic training? Do you still have Tommy and Martha?
You don't get rid of your first children just because you have more!
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