Friday, May 06, 2011

Sports

If you've read my blog for longer than a week, you know without a doubt that my favorite sport is football. But have you ever wondered which sports I just don't like? Well, the suspense is over my friend. Without further delay, I present to you:

Sports I Just Cannot Get Into

1. Topping the list is Golf. Yeah, I've had about a gazillion people tell me, "If only you would play it." Maybe so, but watching golf on TV has got to be the most boring thing in the world.

"Oh, look! The ball is going up!"
"Oh look! The ball is coming down!"
"Oh look! The ball is lying on the grass!"

Well, here's some action--people are walking! Oh WOW! That really gets the old heart a-racing. ZZZZZZ....

2. Hockey--I know I'm going to stir up some controversy with this one, but I've never been able to get into hockey. I've tried and tried and tried to watch it, and can only come to the conclusion that people watch hockey for the fights. If you ask a long time hockey fan what the greatest moments in hockey history are, 9 times out of 10, he'll show you a fight. If I want to watch a fight, I'll just watch boxing. Which segues nicely into my next sport I can't get into:

3. Boxing--Now boxing can be exciting, but after about 3 rounds it gets really old really fast. Forty five minutes of watching grown men dancing around in their underwear just isn't my cuppa tea. Show me a highlight reel and I'll be happy. Speaking of highlights...

4. Car Racing--Not to be confused with drag racing, which I like. No, what I just can't sit and watch is cars driving in circles for 500 miles. Call me when they get to the last lap.

5. Curling--Does this really classify as a sport anyway? After about 10 minutes, it's my hair that's curling. Or straightening. Or being pulled out. Or something...

6. Cricket--This game is as incomprehensible to me as are the reasons it was named after a bug.

So there you have it.  Six sports I just cannot get into.  Now, there are others, like soccer and basketball, that I can watch, but don't like as much.   But these are the ones I'd rather have a root canal than be forced to sit through. 

Still, there is only one sport that I live and breathe.  I follow the old adage, "Baseball may be America's pastime, but football is America's passion".

Or as I was informed recently, "England has royalty.  America has football."

Eh, royalty.  Who needs it?

*Hat tip to Daniel.

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