No April Fool's Joke Here

I was scared. They were chasing me.

I wasn't sure who they were or what they wanted. I just knew I didn't want to be caught. I couldn't let them catch me.

I'd gone to town that day, though now I don't remember why. They'd found me there. I saw them coming for me and ran outside, to my Jimmy. I tried to get in and start it, but my hands were shaking so I couldn't get the key into the ignition. Just then, two of my friends drove up in their truck. I'll call them John and David, to protect their identity.

"Get in," David called as he opened the door. I ran to their truck and climbed inside, John accelerating even before David could get the door closed. Only David's strong arms kept me from falling back out onto the road. We headed out of town. As we turned the corner from Wooded Ave onto Sunset, I looked back. They were still chasing us, and they were using my Jimmy to do it! Well, my Jimmy and another car.

How far and how fast we drove, I don't know. We went way out of town, but still didn't lose our pursuers. David and John took turns driving throughout the night. As dawn's first light began creeping over the horizon, we abandoned the truck and struck out on foot, deep into the woods.

Fatigue was catching up to me. I lost track of time. I just remember walking and walking--occasionally breaking into a run as we heard our pursuers closing in on us. We must have traveled for miles. I vaguely remember following a creek and climbing some hills. I came to myself with a sudden start as David led us inside an old building. It was an abandoned theater. Looking around, it must have hosted dozens of community plays and other performances. We were in a room backstage. Scattered throughout the room were dozens of props and set pieces. John helped me climb onto a house. It was just a prop, and wasn't but about 7' or 8' tall, but it was at the back of the room. He thought we would be well hidden there.

David, meanwhile was looking around for a radio of some sort. He wanted to find out the news, or better yet, find a way to communicate with those who would protect us. Just then, a door behind us burst open and several uniformed National Guardsmen came in. They grabbed John and subdued him. They led him out of the room. The agent that took me was actually very polite as he helped me down from the prop.

"It's OK, Ma'am. I've got you. You're not going to fall. I've got you, come on down." Funny that.

The National Guard took John and me out and put us into the back of a van. I don't know what happened to David. I never saw him again.

I don't know how far we drove. I know I must have dozed off because I wasn't fully awake when the soldiers led us into a waiting room full of people--men, women, even some children.

"Wait here until they call you," the soldiers said. As I sat down, I looked around. I knew where I was.

As I was waiting to be processed, who should walk in but my pastor. He'd come to visit his friend. Bernie, I think he calls him. When Brother Bob saw me, he came over immediately to speak to me.

"What are you doing here?" he asked.

"They're putting me in prison," I replied.

"Why?" my pastor inquired.

"I don't know," I answered.

"What did they talk about at your trial?" he asked.

"I didn't have a trial," I said. "I just hope I'll get one eventually."

"Well, what did they charge you with?" he asked again.

"They didn't charge me with anything," I said.

"They had to have charged you with something when they arrested you," he said.

"They never arrested me," I replied.

"They never arrested me. They never charged me. They never ever read me my rights. They just grabbed me and brought me straight here."

"They can't do that!" he said, angry. "They have to tell you what you are charged with. You have to have a trial! You have rights. It's in the Constitution."

"Huh! The Constitution!" I scoffed. "There is no Constitution any more. "

Just then, the warden called my name. As I got up to begin my incarceration, I turned to my pastor one last time.

"Welcome," I said, "to Obama's America."


**This is no April Fools joke. It is actually a dream I had, in vivid detail a few nights ago. I mentioned before, sleeping with me is always an adventure!