Friday, January 25, 2013

The Magic Shield

On the right, we have Mary, who believes people have the right to hold traditional values. Yet, because Mary refuses to recant her beliefs and ascribe to Lucy's, she is labeled an intolerant bigot.

On the left, we have Lucy, who believes people have no right to believe anything that she disagrees with. Yet, because Lucy refuses to recant her beliefs and ascribe to Mary's, she is labeled...wait, No! Lucy somehow escapes the label of intolerant bigot! How does she do it?

I have found the secret! And I'm willing to share that secret with you for the first time ever!

 It's called the Magic Shield of Double Standard! 

Do you want to call others intolerant, racists, or bigots, and yet still maintain your own intolerance, racism and bigotry?

Do you want to criticize those who drive SUVs for destroying the environment while zipping between your 9 mansions in your own private jet?

Do you want everyone to be denied gun ownership, except for your own armed bodyguards?

Do you want to execute those who kill trees, but staunchly defend those who kill babies?

Do you want everyone to believe only what you believe, but still call yourself openminded and tolerant?

Then the Magic Shield of Double Standard is just what you need!

For four low, low payments of $49.95 each, you too can own your very own Magic Shield of Double Standard! But wait, there's more!

For a limited time, we will DOUBLE the offer. Yes, TWO Magic Shields of Double Standard for the price of one-- just pay separate shipping and handling. Don't wait, call today!

Limited time only-- until common sense returns to America.

*Offer void where prohibited.

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