I was there at school, eating my cheesecake.
I had three of those little cheesecake tarts to eat with my lunch. I ate the first one, and it was so creamy, and grahamy and good. Then I threw my fork away.
I started to eat the second cheesecake, and realized that I had no fork. I got up and went to the rack near the drink machines. You know, where they keep the salt and ketchup and stuff. They have a container of sporks there. I got a spork and ate my second cheesecake.
Then I threw my spork away.
I started to eat my third cheesecake, and realized I had no fork, nor spork, neither. I got up to the rack and got another spork, and ate my third cheesecake.
Then I woke up to the sound of driving rain, and spent the rest of the day trying to figure out why I kept throwing my spork away.
And I went to work in the rain, and somehow managed to set off my own car alarm. Then I got to work and tumped over my lunch cooler, and that's when I realized I'd forgotten to put a drink in my lunch. Fortunately, I had picked up a couple of dollars before leaving the house, so I could get a drink out of the machine.
I got halfway across the parking lot and had to turn around and go all the way back to my car, because I'd left my coffee in the car. I was just glad it was in the car, and not on the kitchen counter at home.
By this time, I was starting to feel a little like Alexander, and it wasn't even 7:00 AM yet. I wish I could say that things got better, but they didn't. The day just went downhill from there. The only redeeming thing was a new episode of The Big Bang Theory.
And that I have a new appreciation for sporks.