The Rest Of The Post

I've got a little good news, and a little less good news for you today. 

The good news is, I'm feeling much better after my bout with whatever it was I was up against Wednesday.  My blood pressure was down this morning (though I haven't taken it since I got home this afternoon), and even better, my heart rate is once again below 100.  That's a relief.  The pulse of 118 is what was really freaking me out about this whole thing.  In fact, I wrote the following after I posted yesterday's blog. 

Yeah, this is the rest of the stuff I wanted to talk about yesterday, but it just didn't seem appropriate on Miss Mary's tribute, so you get it today. 

I'm struggling here.  This whole week has been difficult and I'm not handling it well. 

Here's the thing.  After procrastinating for a decade, I finally get my doctor appointment made, and since then I've developed an unhealthy level of paranoia that I will have a heart attack and die before then.  After all these years, all the stuff I blew off...every little heart burny burp, every ache in my left shoulder, the sore chest muscles from both my job and my coughing fits, the least little twinge in my chest...suddenly I'm paranoid that they're all heart attacks.  

I can't relax enough to go to sleep, because what if I have a heart attack in the middle of the night and am not awake to call 911?  

The weirdest thing...I'm even afraid to eat.  Seriously.  I don't even know why, but I'm afraid to eat.  I've gotten the idea that somehow it'll trigger a ...you guessed it, a heart attack.  

I don't know where all this is coming from, because the nurse said that even though my heart rate and blood pressure are elevated, they're not in the rush to the emergency room range.  She said I'd be OK until next week.  Why can't I seem to accept that?  

Y'all, those who pray, please pray that my mind will be eased -- at least enough for me to sleep.  Thank you.  I don't ask much for myself, but I really need this. 

I also think that part of the reason I was flipping out so much is because I'd never really flipped out like this before.  It was kind of...well, freaking me out that I was freaking out so much.  I was thisclose to calling one of those online counselor things, but after typing it out like that, I felt much better -- both mentally and physically, and I was able to get a good night's sleep last night.  

The less good news is, I'm still not completely 100%.  I started the day feeling OK, but gradually got weaker, and shakier, and dizzier until I almost threw in the towel and came home.  I stuck it out, and perked up quite a bit after lunch. I'm pretty sure that that was the biggest part of why I still felt so off.  I hadn't really eaten much since Tuesday, and what I did eat went straight through me.  Eating a bit of lunch gave me enough energy to make it through the day and even go to the store afterwards.  

I didn't stay long -- at the store, I mean -- and didn't buy much, but I did pick up two quarts of the store brand version of Pedialyte -- which has helped even more -- aaaaand -- 

a bag of marbles to use as counterweights in my trebuchet.  Yay!  No more loose change!  I might even get it down and shoot it some this weekend, since we have the weekend off.  Nah, really, I plan on taking it easy and really getting over whatever I had.  

But I might be able to squeeze a trebuchet shot or two in somewhere...

In other, brighter, news, I ripped my hurricane hat back to the ribbing and am going to make the beanie pattern for the Seaman's Church Institute.  It wasn't that much, as I was only a couple of rounds in.  I had to add about 1/2 " to the ribbing, then it's just a regular beanie like the ones I've been knitting for ages.  

I think the next one I knit will be the watch cap pattern.  The biggest difference in that one is that it's an 84 stitch cast on and a 4" brim.  

And finally, I finished the second book I was reading. 

It was good, but not so good I'm going to rush to Amazon and buy the second one straight away.  But I would like to read it eventually.  

The next one I've started on is an old classic. 

I know I read it as a kid, but for the life of me, I can't remember anything about it, so it'll almost be like reading it again for the first time.

That being said, I'm off to bed...

Hah!  I made a rhyme!