Lesson For The Day

Do not, I repeat, do not drink Diet Dr Pepper with a Hall's honey and lemon cough drop in your mouth.

You will regret it.  Trust me on this.

And that, folks, was the highlight of my day.  We had to work late, so I didn't get to go turn my cable boxes in.  Then, I came home to a giant pile of dog poo in the living room floor. 

Squeaky, because of her age, tries to use the litterbox, but sometimes misses.  OK, all the time misses.  I don't know if it's because she can't squat as well any more, or what.  She'll squat in the box, and pee over the edge.  A few weeks ago, I started buying those puppy training pads to put under her litterbox, to absorb the overflow.  It works a charm.  Instead of all that mopping, I just fold the pad up and toss it. 

After I cleaned up the dog poo, I put a pad where it was.  That's not the first time I've found poo in that spot.  Maybe this will help.  I can't really blame the dogs.  It's a lot to ask of them to hold it for so long. 

Good news!  My DNA sample safely made it to the Ancestry labs.  Now we wait...

Lesson For The Day

If your dog asks to go outside, and you don't let him out because you just let him in,

and your dog asks again to go outside and you don't let him out because he's got food in his bowl and go eat and quit pestering me,

and your dog asks again to go outside and you don't let him out because you're tired and aren't going to get out of the chair until time to go to bed,

then it's your own dadgum fault when he poops in the middle of the living room floor.

You should have gotten your lazy butt out of the chair and him out. 

Words of Wisdom For The Ladies

*If you have small children reading over your shoulder, you might want to save this for later.  Nothing vulgar, just blunt. 

1. He will not leave her for you. If he were going to leave her, he'd have done it already. Vague promises of a future together (“Someday when the time is right...” “If I could only figure out how to get her off my life insurance...” “After the baby comes...”) are just lies meant to keep you in his bed, but not in his life.
   
   
2. If he'll do it with you, he'll do it to you. Don't think for one moment that if he is going to cheat on the one he promised to spend the rest of his life with that he will be faithful to you.
    
3. If you are the other woman, do not delude yourself into believing that you are the only one. More than likely, you are just one of many “other women” in his life.  Why would you think he's going to be faithful to you, when he isn't being faithful to the one he vowed to "keep only unto her."
    
4. If you do manage to get him to leave his wife for you, don't be surprised when he leaves you for someone else. All that flirting he was doing with you, all those vague promises, yeah, you can bet he's out there flirting with someone else – making her the same vague promises he'd made to you.  And, just like with you, one day he will act on them.
   
   
5. Why would you even want to be with a man you already know is willing to cheat on you? It will not be different with you. There is nothing magical or special about you that will miraculously make a cheater suddenly become a man of integrity. Again, if he'll do it with you, he'll do it to you. 
    
6. He does not love you. If he loved you, he would respect you, and if he respected you, he wouldn't be asking you to be his whore. Your only value to him is in what lies between your legs. 
    
7. You aren't fooling anyone thinking you are keeping it a secret. Everyone knows; even his wife most likely knows.  She may not say anything, but that's just because she is in denial, thinking that this couldn't be happening to her.  But she knows. 
   
   
8. Any friend who tries to fix you up with a married man is no friend. Period.
   
   
9. If he has children who are older than you are, you are nothing more than a midlife crisis. Your sole purpose is to stoke his ego, and make him feel more manly. He doesn't care about you. If he did, he wouldn't be asking you to disrespect yourself by being some married man's whore.
   
   
10. Finally, you deserve better. You deserve a man who thinks you are the reason the sun comes up in his world every morning. You deserve better than to be the whore, or the backup plan, or the one he settles for because he can't have the one he really wants. Don't ever settle for a man who settles for you.

Lesson For The Day

Throwback Thursday edition

If you are a school teacher trying to teach your students about photosynthesis and how plants need sunlight to survive by comparing a plant left on a sunny windowsill with a plant kept in a cupboard, don't use closet plants.  It won't work and your students will all laugh.

No, I wasn't the teacher. I was one of the students.  But it really did happen.

Lesson For The Day

No matter how mad your jackwagon co-worker makes you, do not, I repeat do not punch a hole through the dashboard of your car. 

You will regret it, in more ways than one. 

That is a lesson I apparently have not learned.

On the other hand, telling said jackwagon that you broke your car with your bare hands and asking him does he really want to push you that far can be a pretty good deterrent to future jackwaggonery. 

The bright side is, it doesn't really hurt, and I can still knit. 

On the not so bright side, I broke my car.  My poor wittle car. 

But no worries.  I've got plenty of duct tape.  I'll have him good as new tomorrow. 

Facing Fears

Y'all would be proud of me.  Remember that phone call I blogged about a couple of days ago?  Well, after much shaking, sweating, and even some heart palpitations, I finally made it.  I got my house phone cut off.  I only have a cell phone now.  If you're a real person and you need my number, message me on FB or send me an e-mail and I'll send it to you.

Now, that doesn't mean I'll actually answer the phone if you call....  Hey, I told you my phone issues run deep.

The customer service rep was very nice, but she did try to talk me into keeping my phone.  I politely declined.  To make it up to her, I let her talk me into getting a faster DSL package.  Because she offered me a special promotional rate, it'll only be about $5 more than what I'm paying now.

After I took care of that, I got dressed and went to the post office.  Two of my least favorite things to do, and I did them both in the same day.  Y'all would be proud.

As if that weren't enough, when I left the post office, I went to Wal-mart -- which isn't one of my favorite things to do, either.  But since I was right there anyway, I figured I might as well get it over with.    Then I came home and baked a cake, watched three episodes of Criminal Minds, and finished the hat I was working on.

I had enough yarn to cast on another, slightly smaller, hat. 

And here, I'd thought I wasn't going to get much done today because I laid in bed until 8:00.  Let me tell you, when you normally get up at 5:00, that is such a luxury.


Your PSA for today:  Do not let your radiator run dry.  Your vehicle will not appreciate it.

Back when I was in college, I had a friend whose car kept dying on her.  She'd put it into three different mechanics, and they couldn't find anything wrong with it.  But it still kept dying.  Finally, her then boyfriend (now husband) asked her if she'd checked the water in the radiator.  Sure enough, it was dry.  Three different mechanics, and not one of them thought to check the water.  She didn't know, either.  When she was telling me the story, she said, "Did you know there is water in your radiator?"  Yep, I knew, because my Daddy taught me.

I had another college friend who absolutely burned her engine up because she didn't know she was supposed to check the oil.  Even back then, I didn't understand these dads who bought their daughters a car, and sent them off to school without teaching them even the most basic maintenance.

Finally, here's a little fall color to brighten up your day. 

Now I think I'm going to go eat a piece of that cake I made.

Lesson For The Day

Do not --I repeat, do not-- imitate the spooky voice from a scary story while walking the dogs...

alone...outside...in the dark...on Halloween night.

You will scare yourself.

Trust me on this one.
 

From ghoulies and ghosties

And long legged beasties

And things that go bump in the night

May the Good Lord deliver us.

Lesson For The Day

When you are going to give your Group Leader Fernando a Bronx Cheer, make sure you are not facing into the fan when you do it. 

You're welcome.

Lesson For The Ladies

When a man says he'd love to find a woman who will go hunting and fishing with him, don't listen to him.  He doesn't really mean that. 

What he means is that he wants a woman who won't complain when he goes. 

And if you do find one who actually takes you, whatever you do, do not under any circumstances out-hunt your man.  He will drop you like a hot rock.

Ask me how I know.

Twice.

If you do find a man who will actually take you hunting and fishing, and will be proud of you if you do out-hunt or out fish him, marry him.

NOW.

Do not pass go.  Do not collect $200.

And that's all I have to say about that. 

A Couple Of PSAs

Lesson for the day #1:  When resetting your alarm because you have to be at work an hour earlier than usual, make sure said alarm is turned ON before going to bed.

Lesson for the day #2:  Heed the warning in this video BEFORE getting Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever because you didn't check yourself for ticks.




You're welcome.

Lesson For The Day

When you look at someone and ask indignantly, "Don't you understand English?"  it's a good idea to first make sure that you were in fact speaking...um..English. 

Sheesh...

For your Music Monday, I bring you a little flashback. When I first got to Italy, I listened to Italian radio. No, I didn't understand any of the words, but I did like some of the songs. Believe it or not, I actually found one of my favorites on YouTube. I still don't know what it means, but here it is.

That Moment

Have you ever experienced it?  That magical, once-in-a-lifetime moment?  That moment when you first realize it?  That moment when you know

you've found your calling. 

I had that moment this week.  All my life, I'd been wondering why I was here.  What was my purpose?  What was God's plan for my life?  I mean, yeah, I was smart, but I never wanted to be anything.  Never wanted to do anything.  Never really wanted to make anything of myself.

They say that God gives each one of us a gift, and he expects us to use that gift for him.  But I was thinking that someone, somewhere had made a mistake.  I'd been passed over in the Gift From God department.  There just didn't seem to be anything I could do.  I can't sing.  I can't dance.  I can't act.  I can't teach.  I sure can't preach.  For 40 some odd years, I'd been floundering along.  Stumbling through life.  Wondering what I was supposed to be doing.  What I was supposed to be being.  This week, I found it.  I know why I'm here.

To knit hats.

Wait, what?  That's not a calling from God!  Being a preacher is a calling from God.  Being a missionary is a calling from God!  Being a gospel singer is a calling from God!  Becoming a doctor who donates his time to help the poor, that is a calling from God.  Not knitting hats.  You're crazy.

Yeah, I thought that too.  But then a few weeks back, I heard on the radio words that changed my life.

God needs ditch diggers, too.

God needs ditch diggers, too.  And God needs garbagemen.  And God needs mail carriers.  And God needs construction workers, and traffic directors, and the guy who pours the asphalt, and the kid who delivers the paper... 

And God needs people to knit hats.  And God needs people to say a little prayer for whoever it is that will wear that hat.  And God needs people to put those hats in a box, along with some pens, toothpaste, a deck of cards, and some jellybeans and God needs people to send that box overseas, to someone who desperately needs to know that those he is fighting for have not forgotten him.

That's what I'm here for.  It's why I've had the compulsion to learn to knit for as long as I can remember.  It's why I had the determination to teach myself, when there was no one around me who knew how to knit.  It's why I had the perseverance to keep trying when everyone was telling me that knitting is too hard, and I should stick with crochet instead. 

I still say that's not a calling from God.  You need to find something else.  Something great.  Something noble.  Something life altering.  Knitting hats doesn't make the world a better place.

Sure it does.  It makes the world a better place for that person who receives it.  This is what I'm supposed to be doing.  This is my gift to God.  This is my cup of cool water. 

It may not be great.  It may not be noble, but it is my task.  A small task, but I will do it as if it were great and noble. 

Because it's my calling.



I long to accomplish a great and noble task, but it is my chief duty to accomplish small tasks as if they were great and noble.  Helen Keller

Lesson For The Day

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Never, but never forget to put the salt into your neti pot.  You will regret it.

Trust me on this one.
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Lesson For The Day

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Never cough in the middle of a swallow. It doesn't work too well.
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Lesson For The Day

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The vacuum cleaner works a whole lot better when you put the top back onto the canister.

Really, it does.
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Lesson For The Day:

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It is never a good idea to try to knit complicated lace after taking a dose of Benadryl.
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Knitting Knews

Lesson For The Day:

Even the simplest lace pattern can be completely screwed up when Tom Selleck is on the TV.

Now, on to our regularly scheduled post--

I finally got a Socktoberfest button!



It actually started last Monday, but I didn't find the button until today. My Socktoberfest goal is to get my Columbine Peaks socks finished. Shouldn't be too hard since I'm almost at the heel turn. Once they are done, I'm going to work on the other two pairs I have OTN. I won a free day from Stashalong, so I'm thinking about going up to That Yarn Shop and getting some more sock yarn--as if I needed any! Or I may buy some Knit Picks bare and try my hand at dying. I'm really leaning more toward this option. So far, I've only dyed a single color, but I want to try some multi colored yarn. I've got something in mind...Can't tell. It's a surprise.

I finished the first of the month cloth. Red doesn't seem to take good pictures. I don't know why. This pattern had me completely flummoxed. I couldn't figure out what it was. For one thing, the pattern was knit upside down. Yeah. Then I was thinking October--Halloween theme. I tried to make this into a ghost, a witch, an imp....But it wasn't any of that. It is a firefighters helmet and ax.


Speaking of pictures, I'm getting more and more frustrated with my little point and shoot camera. Unfortunately, the kind I want is way out of my current budget, even on e-bay. Still, it can put forth a decent effort now and again:


Some of you may be wondering about the many posts today. I'm going to try this for a while and see if I like it. Each topic having its own post. That way, each topic will have a headline, and can be individually linked.

We'll see how it goes, and if I don't like it, I can always go back to the old way of doing things.
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Lesson For Today

Don't try to knit lace while watching the Super Bowl. Trust me on this one...
Yes, much of today was spent in anticipation of and watching the Super Bowl, Cody being a big Indy fan. Even our pastor, who knows Archie Manning personally, moved the evening preaching service up to 4:00 PM so he could get home in time to watch it. In fact, being that Mr. Manning is native Mississippian, and he and Eli both attended Ole Miss, most folks around here are Colts fans.

We made some snacks and went over to B and J's for the game. J is a Chicago fan, and got really excited when Devin Hester of the Bears ran back the opening kickoff for a touchdown, and again as Grossman and Muhammed connected to give Chicago a 14-6 lead in the first quarter. However, since Chicago would never be in front again, his enthusiasm waned and he got downright ugly at times. Between his attitude and the heat in their home, I needed to get out of there. Since B is much more cold natured that I am, they had their heater set to "roast" and about halftime I began to swell up. I stood it as long as I could, then came home early in the third quarter and watched the rest of the game in the comfort of my own home.
This is when I tried to knit the lace. Not such a good idea. I finally just ripped it back to my lifeline and set it aside for the evening. Then I sat with idle hands and watched the Colts win their first Super Bowl title since Johnny Unitas was quarterback. It was 1971, and the Colts were still in Baltimore, and they defeated the Dallas Cowboys in Super Bowl IV. Since I am a lifelong Cowboys fan, we don't talk too much about that one.



The Pro Bowl is next Saturday, which is usually pretty boring since nothing is at stake. Then we count the days until next season.


The dishcloth is coming right along, and the pattern is showing just what I predicted. I finally delivered the prayer shawl for my friend who's mother passed right before Christmas. I got it all ready to take, then walked right out of the house without it. I initially thought I'd wait until next week, but by the time I got to the end of my road, I felt really strongly that I should go back and get it. I did, and when I got to the church, I discovered that my friend's Sunday School class had placed flowers in the sanctuary in memory of my friend's mother. It all just seemed to fit.

My Peculiar Aristocratic Title is: Milady the Right Reverend Becky the Decent of Praze-an-Beeble Get your Peculiar Aristocratic Title

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Lesson for Today:

No matter how much you like the stuff, and no matter how much you need the protein to keep your blood sugar from dropping too low, and no matter that it is the only thing even remotely healthy in the snack machine at work, it is still not a good idea to eat a whole pack of beef jerky the day after you get major dental work done, even if it is only a snack size pack.

The dentist said my tooth would be achy and sore for a few days, and he was right. I have been absolutely miserable today. What hurts the worst is the spot where he injected the deadening. But it already seems like it is getting better, after just 24 hours. It is still achy and sore, but not like it was yesterday, or even earlier today.

Cody brought home his progress report yesterday. He is failing two classes and has C's in the other three. If he would just do his work, he'd be making all A's and B's. On these progress reports, they print out all the grades the teachers use for finding the student's average. In English he has three 100s, a 93, a 92, and eight 0's. Yes, that's right eight zeros.

Eight.

Zeros.

He is now grounded from everything but breathing. And homework.



Today's Pic: Bradford Pear tree in the fall. Grenada Lake, Mississippi November 2006
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More Band Night

This is the 6th grade beginner band doing their scale patterns. Cody said it's not fair because they got a whole month to practice before band night. When he was in 6th grade, they only got 9 days. That is the high school drum line helping them out.




Again, I apologize for the shakiness. It was rather chilly out there that night.

Lesson for the day: When you have a broken molar, never spend the entire day with your jaw clenched no matter how mad you are at your son for making 4 C's on his report card.

One more thing before I go: As my old Dad would say, only 2 more months until Christmas.

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