Dear Coworker

I hear you over there complaining. 

I hear you complaining that you don't get as many overtime hours as some of us.  Instead of whining about how unfair you think it is, have you tried being...ummm...not lazy? 

You see, in the four hours I stayed over on your shift you went to the bathroom three times -- staying about 20 minutes each time, to the break room twice, disappeared to who knows where about five times,  and spent over an hour (cumulative) either standing there talking or playing on your phone. 

They aren't going to pay you time and a half to play on your phone or alternating between running your mouth and stuffing junk into it.  So, here's a suggestion for you.  Pry your enormous rump off that cooler that you spend half the night sitting on, get over to your work area and work.  Prove to them that their overtime pay won't be wasted on you. 

Trust me, your supervisor knows who works, and who whines.  Do a little more of the former, and a lot less of the latter and you may finally get offered some of that overtime you seem to think you are entitled to. 

Thank you.

That is all.