I Knew

I knew it was going to be that kind of a day when

I was in the bathroom getting ready for work, when I felt a tickling along my lower back. Thinking it was a loose hair, I took several swipes at it, to no avail. The tickling continued. I took a few more swipes, but still the tickling continued. By this time, it had descended to my...um, let's say hiney. It had descended to my hiney. In desperation, I stripped my nightgown off, then my underwear. As my white cotton, Fruit Of the Loom granny panties fell to the floor, out tumbled a ladybug.   There'd been a ladybug crawling around on my *** all morning.  Hiney.  Excuse me.  Sigh...


I knew it was going to be that kind of a day when

I make my own coffee and take it to work, because it's a lot cheaper than buying it from the vending machine--even counting the cost of the disposable coffee cups. It tastes better, too. As I was getting out of my car, and getting my cup out of the cup holder, a little bit of coffee sloshed out and onto the cup lid. I slurped those few drops up, and that's when I realized I'd forgotten to put sugar in it. Sigh...



I knew it was going to be that kind of a day when

I could have sworn that schedule said "21". But it didn't. It said "12". I did "21". They needed "12". Sigh...


I knew it was going to be that kind of a day when

I was walking the dogs. I'd gone to the bathroom before I left the house, but less than halfway into the walk, I felt that old familiar urge. Last fall, they'd cut down almost all of the bushes and brushy stuff, so there were only a few places left to ...um sneak behind. I was headed toward the closest one as fast as I could go, wondering all the while if I was going to make it to that particular bush. As I topped the hill and relief came in sight, I noticed that there was a blue truck parked right beside my pee-ing bush. Sigh...


I give up. I'm going back to bed.