Dear Coworker

I swear, one of these days, you're going to stare at me so hard your eyeballs will pop right out of your head and go rolling across the floor.   Whereupon, I will step on them and squish them. 

And then how will you stare at me all day long? 

So, how about you just stop.  And go away. 

Thank you.

That is all.