Thursday, January 28, 2016

Dear Coworker

Dear married coworker,

Since you don't seem to have a clear grasp on what infidelity is, let me help you out a little bit.  You don't have to actually have intercourse with another woman to cheat on your wife.  There is such a thing as emotional infidelity.

In Matthew 5:28, Jesus said that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

What that means is when you walked up to me and said, "Hello, Beautiful" in that lecherous tone of voice, you weren't just paying me a compliment.  You were cheating on your wife.

When you came up behind me and described that very explicit scene that you imagined between you and me in the shower, you were cheating.  In fact, when you take the time to imagine such a scene with anyone other than your wife, you are cheating.

When you said, "If only I could figure out how to get that woman off my life insurance, then you and I could get married", whether you meant it or not, you were cheating.

When you show up uninvited to my house and ask me where the bedroom is, whether I take you there or not, you are still cheating.  

When you asked me to send you a photo of myself in a red lace negligee, you were cheating.

When you asked our other coworker, "are you sure you don't want to get married", you are cheating.

When you flirt with multiple women, pretend to be in love with them, hint at someday getting married, tell them "someday when the time is right", you are cheating.

Since you can't seem to figure out what cheating really is, here's a clue:  If it's something you wouldn't say to me with your wife standing right there listening, then you shouldn't be saying it to me at all.  If it's something you wouldn't do to me with your wife standing there watching, then you shouldn't be doing it to me at all. 

I hope this helps.

Thank you.

That is all.

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