You're Not Going To Believe This

But first, let me say that this post probably won't be appropriate for small children, so proceed with caution.  Now, on to my story...

It all started yesterday.  There was this guy hanging around the line.  He looked familiar, but I can't really remember ever having seen him before.  I looked at him a minute, trying to place him, but couldn't, so I went back to work.

After a couple of minutes, I noticed him waving.  Thinking he was waving at someone behind me, I ignored him.  The next time I looked up, he waved again.  I looked behind me, but there was no one there.  Again, I ignored him and went back to work.

One more time, I looked up and he started waving.  "What???", I finally asked him, not knowing what he was waving for.

He walked over to my brazing stand and said, in a very snotty, condescending tone, "Make sure you're using your purging gas.  You act like no one has ever told you that before."  Because apparently I was supposed to get that out of him indiscriminately waving his hand around...Nevertheless, that was entirely the wrong thing to say.  "No,"  I replied.  "I was just wondering who you are." 

He told me that he was the inspector over our line for the rest of the week.  Knowing I only had 2 days left, I decided to just ignore him until our regular inspector got back after Christmas.

Which brings us to today.  I was at my stand, doing my work, minding my own business, off in my own little world, when I look up and see this guy just glaring at me.  Face all scrunched up, neck poked out, eyes squinted.  The works.  I guess he was trying to intimidate me.

It didn't work.   Dude, I have a CAT.  I get that look a thousand times a day. If you want to intimidate me, you're going to have to do better than that. 

But, seeing his attempts at making a face, I kind of did a double take, then burst out laughing.  Still giggling, I went back to my work, still bent on ignoring the kid.  At that point, the guy -- now remember, I had never seen this guy before yesterday, and had been ignoring him ever since-- but he walks up to me and says,

"Is there a reason you're staring at me like I have a dick growing out of my forehead?"

"What?", I asked, incredulous.

He repeated, "Is there a reason you're staring at me like I have a dick growing out of my forehead?"

I guess that's where the expression peckerhead comes from.

"What makes you think I was looking at you?" I asked.  "I never said anything to you.  I wasn't looking at you.  I wasn't thinking about you."

"You were staring at me," he insisted.  "You shouldn't stare at people.  It's rude."

"Wow, you do have an inflated opinion of yourself,"  I said.

"Inflated?  I'm just doing my job, " he said.

"Then go away and do it, Little Temp", I said.  (The guy isn't even ADP.  He's a temporary employee.  If you ask me, temps shouldn't be given positions of authority over full time folks.)

The more I thought about it, the madder I got, so I went and turned him in.  When I told the supervisor what he'd said, he dropped his pen.  He couldn't believe that this kid had said that, and agreed with me that it was totally inappropriate.  He came back and told me that they'd taken him up to HR and had a "conversation" about the situation.

Later, my friend Billy came up to me and asked what I'd done to the auditor down there, so I told him the story.  He laughed and said, "I told him 'You're lucky she didn't beat your *** into the ground'."  You have no idea how hard it was not to do that... 

He came back later and said, "I'll bet you he doesn't say anything else.  They chewed him up one side and down the other."

So, that was my excitement for the day.  I spent the rest of the day trying to force choke my group leader, Fernando.

He has an amazing resistance to the power of The Force.

And the skinny little inspector never came back to the front of the line.