Dear CoWorker

There are three things I absolutely detest in a coworker. 

The first is laziness.  I can't stand workers who do just barely enough to keep from getting fired, but not enough to actually be productive. 

Um....check.

If there is work to be done, you do it.  There is no "your half" and "my half."  It is all ADP work, and if it's on the buggy, you do it.  You don't just stand around doing nothing because you finished "your half".  Nor do you expect me to set your work up for you because you don't want to do it yourself.  You've been here long enough to know how to set up an order.  If you can't do that, then you need to have your brazer pay stripped and go work on the line or something else your simple mind can wrap itself around.  

The second is someone who tries to boss everyone around, especially one who has no authority to be bossing anyone at all. 

Um...check.

I've been here 21 years.  I know my job.  I could do my job in my sleep, and don't need you ordering me around like you think you know my job better than I do.   Nor do you have the right to expect me to wait on you hand and foot.  "Go get this."  "Go do that."  "Find me that jig."  "Set this up for me."  Um, no.  You get paid the same amount as I do.  Do your work yourself. 

The third is someone who always has to be getting up into everyone's business. 

Um...check.

When I'm having a conversation with Theresa, or Vanessa, or Fernando, or whoever, you don't come over and stick your big nose right into the middle of it. If that person had wanted to talk to you, she'd have called your name, not mine.  I know you can't stand not being the center of attention, but guess what?  The world doesn't revolve around you.  My world doesn't at least. 

Congratulations, sweetheart!  You hit the trifecta.  And that is why I can't stand you. 

Here's a clue.  We'll get along a whole lot better if you mind your own business and do your own work.  Also remember, I'm neither your mommy nor your maid.  Wipe your own butt, thank you very much.

That is all.