Tuesday, August 08, 2017

Story Of My Life


It all started when I was 3 or so years old.  I don't remember exactly, but I was young enough my mother still had baby gates in the kitchen doors.

Back in those days, there was a banana commercial in which a lady dressed up as a banana did a little dance and sang a little song.

I'm Chiquita banana and I'm here to say,
Eat a banana every day!

At the end of the jingle she'd take a big bite out of the banana and hold the rest up triumphantly facing the viewer.

That day, when I was 3-ish years old, my mother had given me a banana for an afternoon snack.  I peeled my banana, sang the banana song and did the banana dance.  At the end of my song, I started to take the big bite of my banana, when the whole thing broke off and fell onto the floor.

That should have been my first clue.

Some 50 years later, I've pretty much figured out that this is just how my life is going to be.

Last week, I bought a new iPhone.  The next day, I drove eagerly to the store and bought a protective case -- American flag, of course--


and a really cool glass screen protector.


I rushed home and excitedly opened the package of my screen protector.  Carefully, I placed my phone into the phone shaped tray in the bottom of the tin.

Carefully, I unwrapped the included cleaning wipe and cleaned the phone screen.

Carefully, I dried the screen with the included lint-free cloth, and polished it until it gleamed.

Carefully, I peeled the included blue sticky tape from it's backing and stuck it to the screen several times to remove any remaining dust and fingerprints.

Carefully, I removed the backing from the glass screen protector using the included tab, and carefully placed the phone shaped alignment tray over my phone.

Carefully, I pressed the glass to the phone screen through the grove in the phone shaped alignment tray.

After waiting a few seconds for the glass screen protector to adhere to the phone's screen, I carefully removed the phone shaped alignment tray from my phone, and began pressing out the remaining air bubbles from behind the glass screen protector using the included lint-free cloth. 

And that's when I saw it. 

There at the lower right side, of the screen.  Just under the glass screen protector.  A single, tiny speck of dust.


This is the story of my life. 

The banana on the floor should have been my first clue.

My mother picked it up, washed it off, and made me eat it anyway. 






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