You know how it is when you have an idea wandering around in your head, just on the edge of your consciousness, but you can't quite grasp it? Ideas you know you know, but they're just out of reach, and you can't quite put them into words?
There I was, laying there in bed in a fit of insomnia, not really thinking about anything in particular, when suddenly I shouted, "I get it!"
I get why Jesus didn't heal Little James!
For those of you scratching your head and saying, "Huh?" right about now, it's a reference to the TV show The Chosen. If you haven't seen it, not only do I highly recommend it, but this is your spoiler warning. There will not be another.
OK, where was I?
Now, I know there are some of you out there who are way holier than I am, and will no doubt look down your nose at me and sneeringly ask, "Are you just now figuring this out?". The short answer to that is, no. I'm not "just now" figuring this out. In fact, I wrote a whole blog post about this topic 12 years ago. If you are so inclined, you can read it here:
If you don't want to read the whole thing, here is the money quote.
What a platform God had given to his son to make an impact for Christ. Yes, he was still hurt by the loss, but his son had gotten to proclaim his faith in front of hundreds of thousands --perhaps millions-- of viewers on national TV. He has been asked, "Well, wouldn't it have been an even bigger platform if he'd won?" No, it wouldn't have been. Everybody loves God when they win. Everybody gives God the glory when they win. It's expected. But to love God when you lose, to give him glory in the face of crushing disappointment--that will truly make an impact.
Brad McCoy is right. It's easy to give God glory when you win. It's a whole lot harder to say "I'm standing on the Rock" when you've just lost the biggest game of your career. It's a whole lot harder to say, "I don't question the will of God" when not only have you lost the biggest game of your career, but you didn't even get to play. It's a lot harder to say "I know God has a plan for my life" when your own plans were just completely and irrevocably shattered in an instant.
So, no. I figured this out a while back, but the thing is, it's always felt....well...incomplete to me. Like something was missing. Like there should be more to it. I didn't quite know what, but I knew there was more to the story than this.
Then, laying there in bed, in a fit of insomnia, it all slid into place.
I was thinking about Jesus' conversation with Little James, which occurred during episode 2 of season three. You know, when Little James approaches Jesus and asks why he hasn't received healing, and Jesus says, ...well, I won't spoil it for those of you who haven't seen it. But I do recommend you go watch it if you haven't.
Suddenly, my mind shifted to the scene in season 2 episode three, where all the people are lined up outside the tent clamoring for Jesus to heal them, and he does. They run away all excited, and I'll guarantee you that, just like the nine lepers on the road, 90% of them never think about Jesus again. He gave them what they wanted, and they never once thought about him again. Ever.
It was all give me give me give me, and that's all they wanted. What can God do for me? Even today, people treat God like he's some kind of cosmic vending machine. Drop an occasional reference to The Good Lord or The Man Upstairs and he's supposed to ...cha-ching...give you every little thing your heart desires. And when they don't want something from him, they never think about him. Never live for him. Don't follow him.
This is also why it irks me so when people say, "just give it to Jesus" or "Just turn it over to the Lord." It implies that by just giving it to Jesus, he'll wave his magic want and suddenly your life is all peaches and roses. But it doesn't work that way. Sometimes he doesn't heal us. Sometimes he doesn't miraculously solve all our financial problems, or work problems, or relationship woes.
This begs the question, what if he doesn't give you everything you want? Is he still God? Is he only worthy of worship for what he gives us or does for us?
And that, my friends, is why he didn't heal Little James. That is why he didn't remove the thorn from the Apostle Paul's side. That is why he doesn't always heal people even today. Because he is worthy.
Even if he doesn't cure your cancer, he is still worthy.
Even if he doesn't solve all your financial problems, he is still worthy.
Even if he doesn't resolve your birth defects, he is still worthy.
Even if he doesn't make you rich, or give you your dream job, or give you the perfect Norman Rockwell family...
We follow him, not for what he does for us, but simply for who he is.
And who he is, is
worthy.
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