Yippee, I can hardly wait. Good thing someone uploaded this handy dandy "Where The Heck Is This Tornado?" guide.
I've decided if I ever write my autobiography, which would first require me to get a -- you know -- life, I'm going to entitle it Imaginary Husbands Don't Cut Real Grass. Catchy, huh? I've even come up with the title chapters, as well. What do you think?
1. I Need To Mow
2. I Really Need To Mow
3. I Really, Really Need To Mow
4. I Lawnmowed!
5. I Mowed Again
6. I Mowed Even More
7. Lord, I'm So Tired Of Mowing
8. I Ripped Up My Grass And Bought Astroturf
9. Astroturf Melts In The Hot Southern Sun
10. Forget This! I'm Buying A Boat
11. Yikes! These Waves Are So Big!
12. Finding My Sea Legs
13. There Is No Grass In The Middle Of The Ocean
14. There Is No Pollen In The Middle Of The Ocean, Either
15. There Are, However, Hurricanes
16. What The Heck Are Alligators Doing In The Ocean?
17. Shark!
18. I Need A Bigger Boat
19. I Kind Of Miss Mowing.
20. Just Kidding, No I don't.
21. WILSON!!!!!
Where in the heck do I come up with this stuff? I've long since given up trying to find an explanation for such things...
I'm pleading the 5th. And going to bed.
Good night.
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