I have to go back to work tomorrow. That's enough to make anyone depressed. Literally, I've been walking around all day, feeling like I'm about to throw up. Or cry. Or both.
Have I ever mentioned how much I hate my job?
As if that weren't enough of a bummer, I took most of my Christmas decorations down over the weekend. The house always looks a bit forlorn, and dark, and gloomy for a bit after Christmas gets put away. I left my mantle up for now, because I just couldn't bear to take all the joy out of the house.
Then, I did a thing. And what is this thing I did? I lit these candles.
It doesn't see like much of a thing, but let me tell you why it's a thing. Year after year, I've kept those candles. Put them away, and saved them to put out the next year. I've had them for probably 4 or 5 years. This year, though, I decided that by golly, I was going to burn them, so I lit those puppies up. They add a surprising amount of warmth and light to my sad looking living room. Heck, I may just keep candles in them all year round after this.
You know, I always get a little blue after Christmas. I suppose everyone does, but this year seems worse than usual. I'm sure the stress of a very difficult year has contributed to my funk, but really, I believe it was going home that did it. I was talking to my son -- or my brother-- or maybe both, I don't remember -- about the cousin of ours who'd died of COVID, and I said, "Between the Winfree side and the Gunstream side, pretty much anyone I pass on the street there's a good chance I'm going to be kin to him somehow. " I don't get that here. That sense of family and community -- that feeling of being home-- that I do when I'm...well...home.
Even though Cody is only an hour and a half up the road, it's not quite the same. I just feel so alone.
Ok, sorry about my little pity party there. Let's move along...
Cody and Brennan came down for a visit yesterday, and opened their last few Christmas gifts, which had finally arrived after wandering all over creation. While they were here, Cody told me he has decided to become a vegetarian. He's been feeling light headed and dizzy lately, and that has made him think his blood pressure might be high. I told him to go get checked by a doctor to be sure. Blood pressure don't play. Also, he thinks it might help him with his weight problems. He'd lost a bunch of weight a couple of years ago, but since the pandemic started, he's really packed on the pounds. They'd closed the gym in his apartment building, so he hasn't been able to work out. Also, his new job requires a lot more sitting and a lot less activity than his previous jobs have. So he's mended just a bit -- to put it into the local vernacular.
The silver lining to that is, he's got a freezer full of smoked boudin that he said he'd bring me. If he sticks with being a vegetarian, that is. Brennan said she tried it once and it only lasted 3 days. I've never even tried. I like meat too much.
Before they left, we watched A Charlie Brown Christmas and Santa Claus Is Coming To Town, because Bren hadn't seen either. That blows my mind. I don't know how that even happens. She hasn't seen It's A Wonderful Life, either, but we're going to save that one for another trip.
As if the weekend weren't busy enough, Jesse has been sick. He's had diarrhea since Thursday, but what's really concerned me is that he wouldn't eat or drink for three days. The only thing I could get him to take was an egg mixed into a little bit of milk. As of today, it seems his appetite is starting to come back. I bought him some canned food and thinned it down with a little chicken broth. I'm only giving him a little at a time, so as not to overwhelm his stomach, but at least he's eating and drinking something. Along about 1:00, he was in the kitchen eating; he looked around a bit, then walked over and actually drank some water! I mentally shouted, "Thank you, Jesus!" I wasn't being flippant when I said it, either. It was the first time I'd seen him drink anything since Wednesday.
I hate that I have to leave him alone all day tomorrow, but hopefully he's on the mend now. I'm going to keep an eye on him, and if the diarrhea doesn't clear up by tomorrow evening, I'll probably take him on into the vet and get him some medicine. You can give dogs Pepto, and I've given him some as a stop gap, but I'd rather get him something specifically for dogs.
We shall see......
I'd meant to show you this the other day, and never got around to it. It's my new cookware set for my bug out bag.
It's got a pot with a lid, and a frying pan,
I've long since given up trying to find an explanation for such things.
What can I say? I am who I am.
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