Popcorn

I was eating lunch at work, when halfway through the break, I smelled something. 

A very familiar smell. 

OK, not one that I smell that often, but one you never forget once you've smelled it once. 

Now, I must point out one thing to you.  I don't eat my lunch in the break room.  I just sit there at my work area and eat, and I must point out that my work area is a good distance from the break room. 

Since we've got that settled, let's get back to the smell I smelled. 

Popcorn. 

More specifically burned popcorn.   I looked around to see who had popcorn, and who had burned it, but I didn't see anyone.

Later, after lunch, The Other Rod-- not to be confused with Former Group Leader Rod-- told me the story. 

Seems we have a coworker who isn't exactly the sharpest knife in the drawer.  I won't call his name, but around these parts, we call him Forrest Gump.  Only this guy makes Forrest Gump look like a genius.

Well, Forrest Gump decided he wanted some popcorn for lunch.  So, he got a bag of microwave popcorn out of the vending machine

put it into the microwave and set the microwave for ten minutes. 

Yes, that's right.  Ten minutes.  TEN minutes. 

Yeah. 

Not only did it burn the popcorn, but according to Rod, it blew the door right off of the microwave.  (I'm sure that's an exaggeration, but I like the visual.)  The entire break room filled with smoke, which then billowed out into the parking lot.

There was so much smoke, that one guy thought his car was on fire, and opened the hood to check his engine.  (I'm sure that's also an exaggeration, but I like the visual.) 

And Forrest, when he saw he had burned his popcorn and filled the room with smoke, well, all he could say was,

"Well, dag nab it." 

Yep, that about sums it up.

Dag nab it.