Can You Believe It?

There I was, sitting in my chair, watching a DVRed episode of Survivor when my doorbell rang.  I must admit, my first thought was, "Ugh, I hope it's not more Jehovah's Witnesses" as I went to answer.  It wasn't JWs.  It was worse.

It was Tomato Man.

Now, for those of you new to the blog, or those of you who have memories like mine, the story of The Tomato Man is as follows.  One day last spring, the man who owns the house next door -- he doesn't live there, he owns it and rents it out-- came to me and asked if he could grow tomatoes in a little corner of my yard.  I gladly gave my permission, on the condition that he take care of them.

I was very specific about that.  "You gonna take care of them?"  "Oh, yes, ma'am.  I'll take care of them."  Just so we were clear about it.

A few weeks later, he tilled up the land and planted a couple dozen tomato plants and some cantaloupe.  A week or two after he'd planted his tomatoes, he came to my door and asked, "Do my tomato plants look a little dry to you?"  I replied that I didn't know, and he looked startled, "You mean you haven't been out there to check on them?"  I told him no, and he asked me if I would go out and water them a couple of times a week.

I said, "The deal was that you take care of them."

Well, to make a long story short, he abandoned the tomato patch, and it ended up being a clogged up mess of weeds

that didn't produce any edible tomatoes,

and took me three days to clean up that fall.  I had to get out and with my gardening shears and clippers and cut the worst of it down to remove the tomato cages.

Then I had to use the weedeater to knock the rest of it down enough that I could mow that spot.

Now that you have the back story, let me get back to today.  Tomato Man shows back up at my door and asks if he can plant tomatoes there again this year.  Can you believe that?  He didn't take care of them last year, and wants to plant more!  I told him no.  I also told him to get his tomato cages out of my yard, and he wants to act all mad at me.  To that I say, you can get glad in the same britches you got mad in.

Then he told me I needed to get my plot surveyed so he'll know where the property lines are.  Um, also no.  If you want to know, you can get someone out here to survey it.

I've been told he's lazy, and pretty much worthless as a human being who takes advantage of nice people.  Guess what?  I'm not a nice person.  He burned me once.  It won't happen again.

One of my friends used to rent his house.  You know, the one next door.  She told me they wanted to buy it from him, but he had a long list of things he wanted them to fix at their own expense before he'd sell it to them.  Um, again, no.  They bought a different house.

He sulked off back to his car and drove away without a backward glance.  Hopefully, that will be the end of my dealings with Tomato Man.

Now for some bad news.  Wal-mart no longer carries any kind of weight management dog food at our local store. They've also stopped carrying deer corn for the season.  I guess I'm going to have to make a trip down to Tractor Supply.  Which isn't that big a deal, as it's just down the road a piece from Wal-mart.

And finally, my stalker was back to his old tricks today.  Staring at me.  All day.  Stalking up and down the aisle behind me -- as if he were trying to either catch my attention or intimidate me.  He didn't do either.  I told my friend the other day, it's gotten to the point I'm almost afraid to even look up any more.  He's the kind who takes incidental eye contact as equivalent to a marriage proposal.  Actually, there are a few men out there who take incidental eye contact as equivalent to a marriage proposal.  I hate being rude, but that's the only way to deal with people like that.  Anyway, I just ignored him, and spent the day daydreaming about Port Isaac's Fisherman's Friends.

And by daydreaming about Port Isaac's Fisherman's Friends, I mean watching their videos in my head.  I can do that you know.  The song of choice for today was this one.



By the way, one of those men is definitely an introvert.  I told you, we Innies have a nose for our own. I'm debating about whether I should make him my new imaginary boyfriend, or just keep him in the imaginary friend zone.


I'll let you know how it goes.