Fall Shutdown

Be proud of me.  Be very proud.

Why?  Because I made a phone call.  Yes, yes I did.  I called the vet and got the cat's appointment made for her annual vaccines and checkup.   I didn't make myself an eye appointment, though.  Two phone calls in one day is a bit more than I can handle...

By the way, I have no idea when my air conditioner finally shut off last night.  All I know is it was after I'd gone to bed.  This morning, I got up and bumped the thermostat up to 77°, and left my window unit on all day to help take the strain off.  I get concerned, because my central unit is old.  It was already old when I bought the house 11 years ago, and I have no idea when it was initially installed.  I want to get a newer, more energy efficient, non smart unit eventually, but that's going to have to wait for a while. 

Funny thing, I had to do a load of laundry when I got home, because this morning I put on my last clean pair of socks. It's so hot outside, I think they dried faster on the clothes horse than they would have if I'd put them into the dryer.  I still need to call an electrician, but honestly, I'm not in any hurry to do that.  Maybe when it starts getting cold, I will, but for now....In a way, it's more convenient to hang dry my clothes.  I say this because I don't have to wait until the clothes finish drying to move the load from the washer and start a new one.   Plus, I love the smell of clothes dried out in the fresh air. 

Unless it's raining and I have to dry them in the spare bedroom.  But even that isn't that big of a deal. 

I had a supervisor, and she approves. 

In other news, they released the fall shutdown schedule today. 

Instead of putting us on 4 day weeks, they decided to shut the plant down for the whole week of Labor Day, then again the whole week of inventory.  It actually adds up to fewer days off this way, because we'd only be working three days during inventory week and four days during Labor Day week anyway.  

Oh, and we also get the entire week of Thanksgiving off, but then, that's not that unusual.  

What is also not unusual is people freaking out about it, and me saying, "Y'all stop acting like you've never worked here before!"  I swan, it's like they completely forgot we got Thanksgiving week off last year, and in 2023, and in 2022...you get the idea.  One of the brazers asked if I was going to change my vacation, and I said, "Nope."  

This is why I work all of the overtime when it's there, so I'll have that little cushion in my savings account for these fall shutdowns.  

Us old school folks have been through this before.  We'll be OK. 

Not As Bad

Well, here you go.  For those of you on the morbid side, here is a photo of some of my wasp stings.  

I can assure you, they are not nearly as bad as they look.  The stings themselves have healed for the most part.  What you are seeing is the bruising I left when I scratched the mess out of them.  Oh, but you're not supposed to scratch these things, you say.

Hey, if you can ..not scratch...you're a better person than I am, Gunga Din.  

You know what is as bad as it looks?  The heat.  

According to my thermometer, when I got home from work it was 99° in the shade.  I don't even want to know what the heat index is, and it doesn't look like there's going to be any relief in the foreseeable future, either.  My poor air conditioner hasn't shut off at all this afternoon.  It probably won't until after the sun sets.  

Needless to say, I didn't do much outside at all.  I checked the plants, filled the bird bath and hummingbird feeder, then ran back inside.  I didn't even start the soaker hose until 6:00 PM.  I let it run for 30-ish minutes then watered the other beds by hand.  I found a few cayenne peppers ready to cut, 

and by the time I got done with all of that, I was absolutely drenched in sweat.  

I took a quick shower, and spent the rest of the day knitting.  

Yarn:  Hobby Lobby I Love This Yarn

Colorway:  Songbird Stripe

Pattern:  Basic Beanie

Needles:  US 8 / 5mm

Oh, and I did make some chicken salad and put some of the banana peppers I picked yesterday into it.  One thing I didn't get done was to make the cat's vet appointment.  I followed the link in the email but it said their online booking service is down.  But by that time, it was too late to call. 

I guess I'll try again tomorrow. 

Last Week

This is it.  This is the week!  

It's my last full work week of this year.  Provided we work Friday, that is.  I'm not sure that's even going to happen what with work being so slow right now.  They even sent some of the lines home early, and it's only Monday, so I can't even guess what's going to go on the rest of the week.  They've also shut second shift down completely for the foreseeable future.  They didn't have much of one to begin with, but starting today, they moved them all to day shift.  I don't know if they laid anyone off, though.  

All that to say, this is my last full work week of the year!  My vacation Fridays start next week, August 21.  Woo Hoo!  Maybe this year, I'll finally get some of the stuff on my to-do list done.  Sigh, if only it didn't require making phone calls.  

You know, I've never liked the telephone, but it seems the older I get, the harder it is to pick up a phone and make a call.  I don't know why.  Maybe I'm just getting grumpier as I age.  Whatever...

In other news, my new harvest basket arrived today, and boy is it nice. 

I can understand why my friend recommended it to me.   I couldn't wait to go outside and harvest something.  All that was ready were a few more banana peppers and some cayenne peppers, but I harvested them, by golly. 

I didn't stay out long, because it was 95° in the shade.  

While I was outside, I noticed something had torn up my little makeshift wasp trap.  

My guess is a raccoon or a possum, or maybe even that stray tom cat that keeps jumping on the Incarnation of Evil.  No matter.  I took the stake and poked around in the wasp hole, but didn't see any activity, so maybe that vinegar trick worked.  The website said they don't like the smell, so they abandon the nest.  Whatever.  I'm just glad they're gone. 

By the way, my stings have mostly healed up, only now I'm waiting for the bruises to heal.  You know, the bruises I gave myself from scratching...

Also by the way, I moved my little fairy garden over to an empty bed when I mulched the zinnias yesterday. 

Eventually, it's going to have a permanent spot, but for now, it'll be fine right there.  

Last Batch

Yes, folks!  I finally did it.  I got up and made the last batch of pepper jelly this morning. 

This time, I got the ol' food processor out and really chopped them peppers up.  Then, when I was ladling the jelly into the jars, I made sure to keep stirring it, so the peppers would be evenly distributed amongst them.  I think it worked out much better this time, even though there is one jar that all the peppers seem to be floating at the top.  Oh well, it'll still taste good. 

Once that was done, I cleaned up my kitchen and put all of my canning supplies into the spare room for the time being.  I don't really see any more canning being done this year, since I don't have that much left in the garden.  

On a similar note, after the sun dipped behind the trees last evening, I raked up all my grass clippings and put them into the empty 4 x 4' bed. 

As you can see, I got a good little pile of hay there.  I just hope I waited long enough for all of that grass to drop its seeds, or I'm going to be driving myself crazy weeding next year.  Heh...

This afternoon, I braved the heat and mulched all of my 4' x 4' beds -- even the ones with the older plants. 

Heck, I had plenty of clippings for them, plus the zinnia bed, and I've still got some left over.  That only took about 15 minutes, but I was drenched when I was done, so I came inside and took a shower and that's it for my outside business for today. 

Oh, and I should probably tell you, I went ahead and ordered that quick disconnect set from Amazon.  

That's what I went outside to do in the first place, to hook that up.  As luck would have it, these are also interchangeable with one of the sets I'd bought at Walmart.  You know, the ones that weren't interchangeable with each other...go figure.  Anyway, it'll be nice not to have to constantly unscrewing my hose when I want to switch it from one bed to another.  

That being done, I spent the rest of the afternoon watching TV and knitting. 

Yarn:  Hobby Lobby I Love This Yarn

Colorway:  Songbird Stripe

Pattern:  Basic Beanie

Needles:  US 8 / 5mm

I like the colors, but this yarn feels more like Red Heart than Hobby Lobby.  Oh well, I don't suppose it matters.  I'd love to use nicer yarns, but these hats have to stand up to an industrial washer on those ships.  I mean, I doubt they get washed all that much, but still...it would break my heart if one of the hats I gave to a sailor fell apart the first time it got washed. 

Speaking of TV, I'm still watching old Emergency! reruns, and I've noticed that almost everything those firemen do on that show would be major OSHA violations these days.  Like climbing up stuff without safety harnesses, for example.  

When I was outside raking up my grass clippings, I happened to see a hornet hovering around the old nest.  Apparently, I hadn't killed them all.  One website said to pour vinegar down the hole, because they don't like the smell of it.  I did that, then rigged up a makeshift trap from an old water bottle. 

I baited it with peach juice and some of the cat's wet food.  She always leaves a few pieces of it in the bowl, so I scraped it off into the trap.  I figure once that sun hits it, it'll rot and stink and the hornets will love it.  

This morning, I went out and tied it to an extra tomato stake so it wouldn't tip over in the wind.  

I didn't see any more hornets, and it hasn't caught any, so maybe they've moved on.  But I'll leave the trap there for a bit anyway.  

And finally, I'm struggling a bit with my piano playing here lately.  I've been working through the Alfred's level 3, and it's got a lot more advanced theory in this one.  Since I'll probably be mostly playing Christmas carols and hymns, I doubt I'll need any of that, but I want to work through it anyway.  At least skim through it, even if I don't understand it all. 

I don't know.  I guess I'm burned out about a lot of things right now.  Even blogging.  I'd said way back when I started this blog that I didn't want it to be nothing but a laundry list of everything I'd done that day, but it seems that's exactly what it turned in to.   But then, 20 years ago, people where still basically decent human beings and could discuss differences without death threats.  

And I just don't want to deal with the nastiness that is out there these days.  

In fact, I think I'll go listen to some sea chanties.  

Laters...

Finally Made It

Yes, folks, you would be proud of me.  I finally made it to the Farmer's Market this morning.  Once I got out of my own head and got over the idea that I needed to be there right when it opened, it wasn't too much trouble to get myself dressed and down to the square.  I still got there pretty early, though.  Just not right at the crack of dawn early.  

Since I knew I was going to go walk the Bottomland Trail when I left, I decided to treat myself to some cookies.  I got a red velvet and a chocolate chip cookie from Diamond's Sweet Treats. 

And of course, I had to get some of Mrs. Terry's old fashioned tea cakes.  

The last thing I picked up was a jar of Mrs. Terry's salsa for Brennan.  

She told me that was the best salsa she'd ever had, so I get her at least one jar every year.   I might even research salsa recipes over the winter and try to make some of my own next year.  

Once I'd finished my shopping, I drove down to the Lee Tartt Nature Preserve and walked the Bottomland Trail -- realizing shortly into my walk that I had forgotten to put on bug spray.  I guess I'm going to have to start keeping an emergency can of bug spray in my car -- right next to my emergency deodorant. 

It's such a nice walk, and I'll enjoy it more once the weather cools off a bit.  This morning, it wasn't that hot, but the humidity was so high my glasses kept fogging up.  And the deer flies!  Oh, the deer flies were thick out there and followed me all the way down to the Chronolog stand. 

I took my photo and uploaded it to the timelapse, which you can see below.  The last two photos are mine. 

Then, I hightailed it out of there and back into my air conditioning.  Which I didn't stay in long, because my other main project for the day was to get the yard mowed.  

It looks much better now, and on the bright side, I'll have lots of lovely grass clippings to mulch my garden beds with.  On the not so bright side, I found a ground hornet's nest...the hard way.   For what it's worth, Raid Ant & Roach killer works on those little devils, too.  

Just to be on the safe side, as soon as I realized I was being stung, I came inside and slathered Ivarest all over the sting sites.  Then I changed from shorts into jeans to continue mowing...and the buggers started stinging my arms!  Persistent little cusses they are.  Fortunately, I have this habit of tossing my old protective arm sleeves that we're required to wear at work into the back seat of my car.  And even more fortunately, I have this habit of saying I'm going to clean out the back seat of my car, but not actually doing it.  I put on a pair of those, and finished mowing in peace, after I'd absolutely soaked the bed with that Raid spray.  

Oh, and for those of you wondering what Ivarest is, it's Benadryl ointment and calamine lotion mixed together in one handy tube.  I get it at Walmart, but I imagine any place with those types of things would carry it.  After giving it a few hours to clear my system, I took a Claritin just in case.  I've never had an anaphylactic reaction to anything, but why take chances?  

By the time I was done mowing, I was absolutely soaking wet with sweat, even after taking copious breaks to cool off, but this thing had to jump up into my lap anyway.

 Then she had the nerve to get mad because she couldn't find a dry spot on me to snuggle in to.   And on that note, I was done with being outside for the day.  I spent the rest of my Saturday watching TV and finishing up this hat.

Yarn:  Hobby Lobby I Love This Yarn

Colorway:  Day Dreamery

Pattern:  Basic Beanie

Needles:  US 8 / 5 mm

I guess that's about it for today.  I think I'll find some more yarn and cast on a new hat.  

Laters.

It's Been A Minute

Let's see, what's been going on since I last wrote?  Not much.  Work, sleep, knit, more work.   Monday, we walked in and there was once again a pile of poop in the floor.  I saw it this time, and it was definitely animal -- most likely a cat.  This morning, when I drove into the parking lot, I saw the likely poopitrator.  

Get it?  Poop -itrator...OK, I'll stop now.  It was one of the stray cats that hangs out around the plant.  This one was a gray tabby which looked an awful lot like the kitten I caught back in June.  Enough to make me wonder if it was the kitten's father.  I mean...probably so.  

By the way, we are working tomorrow.  Someone told me that they only let us off last Friday because it was the first day of school.  Maybe, but if they did, that would be the first time in the 32 summers I've worked there that this has happened.  Work is really slow right now, so I think it's day by day thing.  They've been letting lines go home early every day this week.  Yesterday, they even let some of the brazers go.  Not me.  She didn't even ask me.  I guess she knew I wouldn't go, especially if I have work to do.  

Want to hear something funny? Monday, I think it was, I came home and kicked my shoes off.  I promise you they landed just like this. 

Even funnier, I didn't notice until I was getting ready for bed and went to move them out of the middle of the floor.    

Speaking of bed, I haven't been sleeping well lately.  Part of it is that I'm still trying to go to bed at 7:00m forgetting that can now sleep two hours later in the morning.  Yeah, 4:30 is still early, but not as bad as 2:30.  

In other news, I was watching a gardening video on YouTube and the guy, Kevin from Epic Gardening,  said something to the effect of this is the time of year he gets a little burned out from gardening.  Granted, he's got a much bigger garden than I have, but I do feel him.  I wouldn't say I'm burned out really, but there really isn't a lot to do this time of year.   I know there are things you can plant in August -- that was the whole point of his video -- but I don't have room for them right now.  Maybe by next year, when I have all of my beds situated and ready -- well, all of the ones I have, that is -- I can plan better.  I'm just kind of winging it for now.  

On a similar note, our brief brush with coolness has moved on and we are back into the mid 90s.  But then, it is August after all.  All that heat is good for one thing, sitting inside and knitting while watching TV. 

Yarn:  Hobby Lobby I Love This Yarn

Colorway:  Day Dreamery

Pattern:  Basic Beanie

Needles:  US 8 / 5 mm

The knitting goes so much faster when you have nice yarn to work with and a good show to watch.  

On that note, football is back!  OK, it's just pre-season, but it's still football!!

A Teaser

We got a little teaser this morning of what’s coming up in a few weeks. I mean, it's still early August, but it's something to look forward to.  What am I talking about, you ask?  It was 68° when I got up this morning!  And it felt so good. 

It was even cold in the plant, believe it or not.  For once, I was glad I'm such a procrastinator because I'd never taken my flannel shirt out of my bag.  I needed it today.  Oh, it warmed up pretty quickly once the sun came up, but those first few hours were nice. 

Speaking of chilly weather, I finished my most recent sailor hat yesterday evening.  

Yarn:  Hobby Lobby I Love This Yarn

Colorway: Rainbow Galaxy

Pattern:  Basic Beanie

Needles:  US 8 / 5mm

I really love the way this one turned out.  I might have to do a few more from this color.  

As soon as I was done, I cast on a new one.

Yarn:  Hobby Lobby I Love This Yarn

Colorway:  Day Dreamery

Pattern: Basic Beanie

Needles:  US 8 / 5 mm

So anyway, I've had this storage box sitting in my spare room for about as long as I've lived in this house. 

I've often joked that if someone snuck into my house and threw away everything that was inside it, I'd never miss any of it.  But if I sort through it, I find too much I want to keep, thus, it still sits there. 

Today, I decided I was going to be the sneak and toss it all -- no matter what.  That's pretty much what I did.  By the time I was done, this was all that was left. 

Some money, a few mementos and a Styrofoam head.  I also kept this messenger style book bag that I bought probably 30 years ago.  I used to use it all the time, but now it just sits there. 

I put it into the top of the closet, thinking maybe I can use it as an overnight bag or something.  But then, I'd have to actually go somewhere.  Or maybe I'll find a homeschooling family locally that wants it.  

I don't know.  I'll figure something out.  

Trying Again

Apparently, when I filmed my garden journal yesterday, I didn't get my microphone connected or something, so the video had no sound.  Sorry about that, and thanks to Marcy for pointing it out to me.  Yeah, yeah, I should have checked before I posted, but I didn't.  No matter.  I've deleted the old video, and after a couple of test videos, I figured out the problem and re-filmed the whole thing.   As always, it's not edited in any way, just my ramblings.  

If you want to watch it, you can find it here:  Garden Journal

On a similar note, after I blogged yesterday, I cut and rigged up my first soaker hose. 

The hose is still a little stiff, but I'm hoping a few days in the August heat will soften it up a bit.   I may re-position it in the fall, after the first frost kills off everything in that bed, but for now it is where it is.   

Once it was in place, I put all the cardboard mulch back, 

leaving the connection exposed, naturally.  I've got some more boxes that I'm going to cut up and add to this, but probably not until later today, or maybe even tomorrow.  

This morning, I hooked up my hose and ran it for about half an hour.   I have to be careful not to put the water pressure up to high so it'll ooze and not spray.

I'd bought a quick connect system at Walmart last week.  It had two sets of connectors, but for some reason, they are not interchangeable.   What's even the point, then?  I had hoped to be able to quickly swap my hose between my soakers and my nozzle, but that's not going to happen with these connections.  

Naturally, I did what any red blooded American would do.  I hopped onto Amazon and found a set with multiple connectors of the same type.  I've added it to my cart, but probably won't order it for a few weeks yet.  I'm not going to rig up any more of the beds until after the current growing season, when the plants in them have died back and the beds are empty.  I figure it'll be easier that way. 

My bill is going to be sky high this month anyway, because seven of my subscribe and save orders all hit on the same day.  I usually don't get but one or two, and I think this is the first time I've ever had so many at once.  Ah, well...two of them were the cat's food and flea stuff, two were supplements my doc recommended that I can't find locally, two were my protein powder -- which I subscribe to to get a discount since it's gotten so expensive -- and my protein bars, and one was my mouth guard because I grind my teeth when I sleep. 

Not that you needed to know all of that, but there you go. 

But I digress...

As promised, I got up this morning and harvested the cayenne peppers that were ready, then strung them to dry.  

Most of them were short and stubby, and I think it might be the heat.  Peppers are in the nightshade family, which loves heat up to a point.  July and August are past that point.   But since the goal is to grind them into powder anyway, I don't suppose it very much matters.  

And finally, someone is going to be very disappointed when I finally get around to cutting this grass. 

I should probably do that today, since it's not supposed to get out of the 80s, but I'm not.  It's the day of rest, and that's what I'm going to do.  

Rest and knit. 

An FO

For you knitting muggles, an FO means a finished object, and I have one.  

Yarn:  Red Heart Bitty Stripes

Colorway:  Rainbow

Pattern:  Basic Beanie

Needles:  US 8 / 5mm

Yes, I finished last night while I was watching the rest of that documentary on Pompeii -- the one hosted by Tom Hiddleston.  It was really good, and I can attest from personal experience that alarm fatigue is real.  Last year when we kept getting all of those tornado warnings...Yeah, by the time the season was over, I was like, "If it gets me, it just gets me.  I'm staying in bed."  

Anyway, if you're into ancient history like me, I highly recommend it. 

While I was doing that, I cast on another hat with my new yarn.  

Yarn:  Hobby Lobby I Love This Yarn

Colorway:  Rainbow Galaxy

Pattern:  Basic Beanie

Needles:  US 8 / 5 mm

*  I found out the video didn't upload properly, so I've deleted it.  I'll try again.  

Basically I was talking about the storm that came through here last night and did an absolute number on my plants.  I didn't even know it had gotten that bad until I saw the state of things this morning.  My little shade cloth rig was completely torn down, and I had to rebuilt it first thing.  

Luckily, none of the plants under it seemed harmed, other than being a little droopy, but I expect they'll perk up in a few days. 

And look at this!  This is the little tomato that was being eaten, and was down to two leaves before I moved the spare basil into the bed next to it.  Can you see, right in the middle?  It's putting out new growth!  

Yes, I realize how pathetic it sounds to get so excited over that, but what can I say?  I am who I am.

One of my basil plants had also been knocked over, so I just cut the whole thing off.  

It was already putting out new growth from the base, so it'll be OK.  I'm not so sure about the tomato next to it, though.  Those first tomato cages I bought were pretty flimsy, and not quite tall enough, which is why the second ones I bought  I sprang for the high dollar cages.  They can be built up much taller, so next year, I'll know.  I'll probably use the shorter ones for my peppers -- whichever type of peppers I grow.  

I'm thinking maybe jalapenos or tabascos.  Maybe I'll grow more banana peppers -- just not six plants.  

Speaking of, I pulled that dead one up and put it into my hot compost.  Earlier this week, I put my candy thermometer into my tumbler and it got up to around 145, so that ought to be hot enough to kill any diseases over time.  And seeds.  And roots in viny weeds. 

While we're on the subject of tomatoes, here is today's harvest. 

I got a good many tomatoes, but only a few peppers.  I didn't even harvest any cayenne peppers.  Maybe I'll get some in the morning.  I plan on hanging them to dry and grinding them up in my spice grinder.  

The last thing I did before coming into the air conditioning for the day was to measure out and mark where this last bed is going to go. 

My supervisor approves.  

I'll still need to shave some of that red clay down so that it sits level, but that can wait until it cools off some.  At least it's lined up and in place, plus the corners are staked so I can move it if I need to.  

That's about all I did today.  I didn't mow, and I didn't get that last batch of pepper jelly made.  I will eventually.  Maybe tomorrow.  

Maybe not.  

I Made It

I did it, y'all!  

Yes, my friends, I finally made it up to Batesville, and more importantly to Hobby Lobby!  

I was good.  I resisted temptation and only bought four skeins of yarn for my sailor hats.  That's pretty much the whole reason I went up there anyway.  They are from left to right:  Day Dreamery, Songbird Stripe, Rainbow Galaxy, and Dakota.  

Now I need to finish the hat I already have OTN so I can cast on with one of these.  That's pretty much what I spent the rest of the day doing, catching up on my TV shows and knitting.  

I'm almost to the point I can start the crown decreases, so it won't be much longer now. 

By the way, they had...this!  

Sit down and be quiet, Scrooge!  This makes me happy.  It means that the end of the relentless summer heat is on the horizon.  We still have to make it through August, but there is hope... Besides, people who make handcrafts to sell at Christmas need to start now, or they won't have any in November.  Nobody seems to understand this.  

Funny story, I was wearing a t-shirt with the company logo on it, and the cashier at HL asked me if I worked there now.  I said yes, and she told me she'd worked there a long time ago, but had to quit because the fiberglass insulation was tearing her skin up and they wouldn't move her. 

This is the weird part, I remembered her!  I didn't say so out loud, because I didn't want to get drawn into a long conversation, but I did remember her.  Even her name.  I don't remember half the people that work out there now, but I remember someone from 20 years ago.  Go figure.

Of course, before I went to Hobby Lobby, I had to stop by Lowe's first.  I browsed new stoves, and dishwashers, and vinyl flooring, and circuit breakers, and bathroom vanities.  No, I don't need a new stove, but I want one.  All the appliances in this house are black, and to me, it makes the kitchen look so gloomy -- not to mention that every teeny tiny speck of dust glows like a light in the pitch black night.  I want to switch everything to white, but the tightwad in me doesn't want to spend money on new appliances when the old ones still work. 

I would love to completely remodel this house, but money is an issue and so is finding an honest contractor.  Or maybe it's just me.  I don't seem to have any better luck choosing contractors than I do choosing husbands.  Even when the red flags are there, I convince myself everything will work out in the end, but it never does.  

After daydreaming a while, I wandered into the garden center and look what I found!  

A customizable soaker hose system!  I've been wanting a soaker system for my raised beds, but Walmart only had pre-cut hoses.  This way, I can customize one, and if I need more connectors, they are available on Amazon.  I already checked.

I also picked up a new pack of landscape pins, because the ones I bought last year rust so quickly.  

I'm going to give these a try and hope they work better.  

Alas, it's all going to have to wait.  By the time I got home, the heat index was already up into the triple digits.  That's also why I didn't go to the Mounds.  I'll wait until it's cooler -- like October -- to do that.  Oh, and then it started storming, so I had to run outside and bring the clothes horse back inside.  Fortunately, I'd already gotten most of the clothes off and folded before, so no harm done.  That's also when I remembered I'd forgotten to look for clothesline poles while up at Lowe's.  

I'm thinking I could build some out of PVC pipe, then just pay someone to dig the holes and set the poles into quickcrete.  It should work, and won't rust like a metal pole will.  

And finally, here is your bit of humor for the day. 

 Heh, just look at that smirk!

Full disclosure, I didn't research to see if this was legit or satire, but it's still funny.  

Now if you'll excuse me, I've got a hat to finish.